It annoys me that people act differently when they find out I’m a preacher
Question:
Sorry to bother you, but I have a question for you.
Sometimes, when people want to talk to me and find out that I am a minister or preacher, I realize that almost all of them say basically the same thing:
- "You know, I go to church too,"
- "You know, I am thinking of going back to church,"
- "You know, I just started to read my Bible too,"
- "You know, I am thinking of reading my Bible,"
- "You know, there is a church nearby where I live," etc.
I understand that they are trying to have a conversation with me; I know that. But somehow, I feel that they don't want to talk about anything religious. It's as if they are trying to tell me that there is nothing wrong with them as if they are telling me, "I am a good person." What do you think?
I don't feel any sincerity. It's as if they are looking for my approval to say they are living just lives since I am a minister. What do you think I should do, brother? How should I approach them?
So far, I have said, "Oh, okay, that's good," and left it at that. I won't say more because it annoys me, and I don't want to go along with it. I don't know if it's wrong for me to think that way since it seems like I am prideful or that I look like I am above others, but that's what I think. Should I go ahead and use that as an opportunity to teach the gospel? But even then, it feels like that's not what they want to hear.
Another thing that annoys me is when people find out that I am a minister if they typically cuss, out of respect, they don't do it around me. I understand that it is out of respect, but it makes me feel insulted at the same time. I know that's not how they really are. I know that's not their true self. Why try to do that in front of me if is not sincere? I don't know, brother.
I know that I may be ranting. But I wanted to know your thoughts about it.
How should I approach this? Any advice will be helpful.
Thank you.
Answer:
Most preachers tend to have difficulty steering conversations to religious matters because worldly people avoid topics that make them uncomfortable. However, here, you have people giving you opening lines.
- "I go to church too." Excellent! What church do you attend? What caused you to select that particular group?
- "I'm thinking about going back to church." I hope it becomes more than just a thought. What has been keeping you from worshiping your Lord?
- "I just started reading my Bible too." There's nothing better that I like to hear! What book are you reading? Why did you pick that particular book?
- "I'm thinking of reading my Bible." Great! What do you hope to learn from your Bible? Is there something currently in your life that you need to learn more about?
- "There's a church near where I live." You know, there is a bank near where I live, yet I somehow haven't gotten any richer because of it.
Pick up the habit of extending conversation by asking questions that lead to deeper and more personal topics. Yes, people tend to mention the good things they do because they want to be considered "good." Instead of focusing on their motivation, use the time to nudge them to realize they need to do more if they expect to reach heaven. They might not like thinking they are not doing enough, but they won't change without motivation.
I actually like the fact that people stop using profanity when they find out I'm a preacher. I don't like hearing swear words. I don't want to be influenced by other people's bad behavior. And, in a roundabout way, it tells me that people still understand that cussing is wrong. Society has lost a lot of moral values. It is nice to know some are retained, even if they are not consistently applied.
Question:
Thank you, brother. I really appreciate it. I guess I've been looking at things too negatively.
I guess I'll become prideful in my way of thinking. But I must admit I'm a little envious that I cannot come up with questions like this. These are good questions that I never even thought of asking. I'm not very good at communicating or talking. How can I train myself to think more critically?
Answer:
There is a book by a denominational writer called Tactics by Gregory Koukl that is an excellent read. Essentially, Mr. Koukl advocates talking with people to get to know them better and looking for openings to ask questions that get them thinking deeper about what they believe and why.
Learn to be interested in people. Don't think you have to convince people instantly. Instead, aim to nudge people a bit closer to the truth. It is about cultivating patience with people. "I solemnly charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by His appearing and His kingdom: preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort, with great patience and instruction" (II Timothy 4:1-2).
