Is “Once a cheat, always a cheat” true?
Question:
I do have another question regarding infidelity.
There is a phrase that goes, "Once a cheat, always a cheat". I guess that also applies to abusers, convicts, etc. Anyway, it has been going around, and I am sure it has been for a long time. In fact, I have also seen Christians using this phrase.
Cheating is obviously wrong, as it leads to a loss of trust and a lack of sympathy from others. However, I wonder if such a phrase is biblically true because everybody needs to repent regardless of the consequences that we still have to face after confessing our sins. However, in today's society, you will be scrutinized and be forever a scumbag once you cheated.
Is it biblical to say such a phrase that once you cheated, you will always be one? Also, I was wondering if people who have committed past infidelities can become good, godly marriage partners as long as they repented. Have you known any marriages where someone used to cheat before they got married but was able to live a good and godly one?
I just want to let you know I am asking this based on when a person is not married yet.
I hope this makes sense! I want to ensure this is readable, but I will clarify if needed.
Again, thank you for all you do.
Answer:
There are two sides to this question that need to be considered.
People tend to repeat habits unless there is a strong motivation to change. People find comfort in the familiar, even when they know it is wrong. Thus, a person who cheats on a test or has sex with multiple partners is likely to continue.
One the other side, Christianity is about change. After listing out several sins, Paul said, "Such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God" (I Corinthians 6:11). It is more than just a claim to have changed. You'll see evidence of change in the person's life. "For behold what earnestness this very thing, this godly sorrow, has produced in you: what vindication of yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what avenging of wrong! In everything you demonstrated yourselves to be innocent in the matter" (II Corinthians 7:11).
I have seen this level of change in people. It usually starts out with absolute disgust with the type of person someone is turning out to be and then a radical commitment to change. I know of couples who had backgrounds of sexual promiscuity change and create wonderful, stable marriages. It is not who you were that is important, but who you are.
Response:
Hello Jeff,
I see what you mean. I appreciate this, so thank you. May God bless you and your church.
