Should I marry a man who is not a virgin?



Blessings to you! I'm having a difficult time accepting someone's past.

First I'll start with that I'm a Christian, not a perfect one, but I do strive to be the godly woman God encourages me to be. As a Christian and follower of Christ, I should never shame someone over their past nor judge their actions, but only accept it and be thankful to the Lord for bringing them out of sin.

There is this man who is trying to pursue me. His interest in me was confessed just recently. We don't know each other all too well yet. Just introductions, God bless you, have a blessed day kind of conversations have been exchanged. His fire for God is overwhelming, and I love it! I love how much He loves God. His heart and our small conversation have led us into fellowshipping. Unfortunately, as I mentioned, his past scares me. I'm a virgin and he has had pre-marital sex, which resulted in him having a daughter. In my moments of doubt and questions I lift them up to God and pray to Him. I just need godly advice. My question is: Do I continue talking to him even though I have so many doubts? I've waited, and I have faith that God has created the perfect imperfect godly man for me. I've always thought or imagined him to be a virgin like myself. But again, who am I to know what is good for me? Only my Creator knows that. Has God finally sent him? I'm scared that not having that first time experience with him will hinder our relationship in the future. Growing up I've always said I wanted to marry a virgin, but first and for most I've wanted him to love God and be obedient to the word of God. Do I continue to wait?

Thank you so much for reading and I hope it made some sense. Remain blessed!


I cannot tell you whether this is the right man for you. For that matter, you don't know either until you get to know him for a while. That he has sinned in the past is irrelevant unless he doesn't see his past as sinful. If he thinks pre-marital sex is fine in some situations, then you need to find someone else. But if he truly believes it was wrong and is embarrassed by his past, then he has changed and that is what Christianity is all about.

That he has a daughter is another issue that you need to look into your own heart. Can you love a child as your own who is not your own? I suppose the girl's mother is still involved, so you have to decide if you are prepared to handle the difficulties of raising a child who is being shared with another parent who does not have the same standards as you.