How do I tell someone that having a child outside of marriage is not good?



I just started hanging out with this girl from work lately, and she recently told me she had a miscarriage a month or so ago. She's also had a few before that I already knew about. She's not married, and she has only been dating this guy now she had the miscarriage with for a few months. She is really wanting another baby now after her miscarriage, she is feeling heart broken about not getting to have a baby.

I really wish I knew what to say to her about her situation and about what God would want her to do, which would be to wait for marriage. But I just don't know how. I, myself have lost a child last year after a premature birth, so I know the grief that comes after losing a child and the amount of longing that follows for wanting another baby.  All I can think to say to her is that she will have another one soon when God is ready to give her one. She says shes not upset about the miscarriage, just that it made her realize she really wanted another child now.

She just got out of a really bad marriage and hasn't been dating this guy long, so I don't know if I should try to encourage her to get married first or not. I'm sure she wouldn't go for it anyway. But I just want to do and say what God would want me to at least. She's not a Christian, but she does believe in God, so I feel I need to tell her what God thinks about fornication. I just don't know where to start. I know I'm not the most perfect person either, so I just don't want to sound like I'm condemning her. She is always talking to me about wanting another baby and her plans for her next one.

Please help! Im just not sure what I should do!



"Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted" (Galatians 6:1).

Do be careful. I suspect that there is a reason she is talking to you about wanting another baby. I hope I'm wrong.

The right thing to do is mention that children thrive best when they a brought up with both their mother and father. That is one reason God insists that sex is to be limited to married couples (Hebrews 13:4). Thus, in a gentle gradual way, you introduce what God teaches as being reasonable and best for everyone.