I found out the woman I was interested in is still married, what should I do?


I guess this really is not a question. But I read a question you answered and it was a similar question I had.

I met a women that has an almost four year old son. She said she was divorced, but as time went along I found out that she really wasn't yet. This upset me, based off the fact that I had kissed this girl. I realized that I was starting a relationship with a married women and that I had indeed committed adultery. So after a time of prayer I knew what I needed to do. I basically took the advice given, which was tell her to get her things in order before I would even consider anything else. My question I guess is: even if she does this and grows in faith, should I give her a chance and continue to pray and trust in the Lord, or is it better to just completely walk away and say that I must move on?

Thank you.


I would like you to think about this from another direction. If nothing else changed (beyond her divorce occurring), would this be the type of woman you want at your side for the rest of your life? People don't change unless they decide to change. Characteristics you observe now usually remain. If she is willing to lie and hide things to get what she wants, likely that character will remain with her.

What you also didn't mention is: Why did she leave her husband? Unless he was cheating on her, she doesn't have the right to a second marriage according to Jesus. "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery" (Matthew 19:9). Just because someone wants to leave their marriage, it doesn't mean God releases them from their covenant.