Would a man be qualified as a deacon if his teenage son attends denominational services with his friends and is not a Christian?


First, I would like to compliment you on your website. There have been many times I have included the phrase "La Vista Church of Christ" when web searching tough scriptural questions that I have.

I am an elder in the church of Christ. We are in the process of appointing deacons. We are considering a brother to be a deacon, who, although is a good worker in the church, is a questionable father. I Timothy 3:12 states that one of the qualifications of a deacon is "ruling their children and their own houses well." This man allows his teenage son to attend the worship services of denominations, where his friends attend. His son is not a member of the church yet. While I would like to know if God would consider this man to be a good father by allowing his son to attend worship services outside the church, I'm more concerned about the spiritual welfare of this man's son.

Any advise you could give me would be greatly appreciated!


It would appear that this man either values his son having friends over scriptural accuracy in worship or he has been unable to convince his son what the Bible says about worship and being a Christian. In the case of the later, he may be giving in to keep peace in his home, thinking if he gives his son what he wants, then the son won't hate him. However, this is all conjecture.

May I suggest that you simply tell the father you are concerned about his son and his apparent preference to worship elsewhere and ask if there is some way you can help. Then be prepared to listen. Only after getting more details about the dynamics that are going on would I make a decision.

I will say that in general I would not consider this an example of a man ruling his household well. We are not a part of the denominations because they teach error. If that isn't getting across to the boy, then something is not going correctly in the home.

"Whoever transgresses and does not abide in the doctrine of Christ does not have God. He who abides in the doctrine of Christ has both the Father and the Son. If anyone comes to you and does not bring this doctrine, do not receive him into your house nor greet him; for he who greets him shares in his evil deeds" (II John 9-11).
Frequently attending worship services of a group that is teaching false doctrine is giving them support.