I'm tired of living with this medical condition.


What's the purpose of my life when I'm suffering from a socially isolating and debilitating medical condition? I kid you not, I'm so sick and tired of reading platitudes; I'm tired of begging, pleading, imploring God for help. What's the point of living, if you can't function as a whole person? What's the point of asking God for help? I don't want to be angry with God or blame God, but I'm really tired of living life with this condition. This is no way to live life.

I used to pray for God to take my life, but apparently I guess He's completely indifferent to my situation. Whatever the case maybe, I wish I had the guts to take my own life; I don't. Knowing my luck, I'd go straight to hell. I'm just asking God to cut me some slack. I'm not asking to be filthy rich, or to marry some beautiful supermodel. I'm asking God to restore my health back to me; doctor's can't help, I've wasted a lot of time and a lot of money on doctor visits. I love life, I think life is beautiful. I'm not talking about material possessions, I'm talking about every moment of every day, that God allows me to live.


There are several people in the Bible who asked God to take their life: Moses (Numbers 11:15), Elijah (I Kings 19:4), Job (Job 3:20-22; 6:8-10; 7:15), and Jonah (Jonah 4:3, 8-9). The request for each was ignored, but it doesn't mean that God didn't answer. An answer that is different from what you expect is still an answer.

The reason God ignored the requests is that death is never an answer to a problem. It is wanting to avoid the problem. Courage is found in living, not dying. (See: The Courage to Live). Suicide is not an option because it is a form of murder, which is a sin. (See: Why is Suicide a Sin?).

I don't know what you are suffering with, though I am sorry that you are suffering. One of the wonders of today is that you aren't really isolated. You and I are conversing and in this medium, your condition is not apparent. I spend my days teaching people the gospel -- people I will probably never meet in person. There are things you can do, people you can meet, and lives you can impact. I don't know what are your limitations, but look to see what you can do instead of getting frustrated with what you can't do.