My former girlfriend wants to get back together with me, but I don't know if I should take the risk.


Hi brother Hamilton,

I need a bit of help here. I was courting a young lady for the past several years. I made indications that I wanted us to marry and she told me she wanted to wait. Our relationship got strained. I'm not sure because of that issue or because she was busy at school or a combination of both. We broke up.

At the moment I don't have a girlfriend, but there is a certain young lady I am interested in. I haven't asked her out, though I'm sure she can tell I really like her by the frequency of my phone calls to her.

Now my ex-girlfriend is sending me messages saying she wants us to get back together. I'm sure she does not know that I was ready to move on. But now she came back at such a time. I'm really confused about what I should do now. I'm afraid of being hurt again. At the same time I know she is a young woman of good character. What should I do and what guidelines can I follow to make the right choice?


Be aware that you are trying to compare someone you know very well with someone you do not know at all. It isn't a fair comparison because there is a tendency to assume in the unknown the best in that person and that isn't often the case.

You are trying to make a decision with very little information. You think the new girl might be interested in you. You don't know why your former girlfriend has changed her mind. You don't know if she has decided to make changes in herself. You should find out more before making a big decision. In the Bible, being prudent means you think ahead before taking action. "The heart of the prudent acquires knowledge, And the ear of the wise seeks knowledge" (Proverbs 18:15). You cannot make a good decision about the future without some knowledge of the present.