How do I relate with my mother who was withdrawn from years ago?


My mom was withdrawn from about 30 years ago when I was around 5 years old. She was withdrawn from because she got remarried after an unscriptural divorce. I am a faithful member of the church and I have two young children. What kind of relationship should I or can I have with her? How do I balance honoring her with admonishing an erring member of the church? (She now is a member of a denomination.)


Before adding some details about your situation, I would like you to read, "Are there exceptions to withdrawal?" This will give you some foundation for what I'm about to discuss.

As a child, you are responsible for your mother's care as she gets old. "If any believing man or woman has widows, let them relieve them, and do not let the church be burdened, that it may relieve those who are really widows" (I Timothy 5:16). You should give her respect as the person who raised you -- at least she did a good enough job that you had the opportunity to become a Christian. In other words, the withdrawal by the church because she refused to repent of her sin doesn't make her any less your mother. You should call once in a while to see if she is doing alright. But I would suggest that you keep the social interactions to a bare minimum. If she asks why, politely remind her that she never did repent of her sin for which she was withdrawn from, that you want to have her with you in heaven, but you can't support the worldly lifestyle she has chosen, or leave her with the impression that you approve of it. No yelling, no arguments, just a simple statement of the facts. And perhaps it will open the door to a change in her heart.