Question:

Hello,

While I agree completely with everything you said, I struggle with one thing, not about your answer but about sex in marriage. Sex is not discussed, in a church forum, publicly or privately, whether because of modesty, or embarrassment, etc. But as young couples, who come out of a world of sin and perversion, go through their marriage, how are they to learn or know what is biblical or unbiblical? We are told throughout the Word that the older scoop the younger. It does not seem to say except for.....
The word is to be applied practically and realistically reading Scripture in context; yet, besides main sexual acts specifically spoke about not a lot is mentioned. So how do I know if any of what my wife and I do is biblically acceptable and God honoring?


Answer:

You think in terms of love and kindness, such would not do harm to another (I Corinthians 13:4-8). Therefore, acts of sex that injures or hurts the other person would not be acceptable. One that some people don't realize is harmful is anal sex. See: "Is anal or oral sex between a married couple a sin?"

Acts of sex that denigrate the other person also would ruled out.

An interesting thing to consider is "When a man has taken a new wife, he shall not go out to war or be charged with any business; he shall be free at home one year, and bring happiness to his wife whom he has taken" (Deuteronomy 24:5). It is the husband's job to make sure that sex is extremely pleasurable for his wife. He should not be focused on his on personal pleasure but on his wife's enjoyment. In doing so, he will, of course, find sex pleasurable too. But if he focuses on himself, she will not likely find it pleasurable.