Question:

My boyfriend and I intend to get married in a couple of years. As joyful as it makes me to know I will have a lifetime partner, companion, lover and friend after waiting so long; I am nervous. One day I got my period and I had no pads. Four ladies offered me tampons, when I finally accepted one, I realized I could not get it to fit. It barely went up. This made me very concerned about my first sexual experience with my husband. My sisters said I was probably so nervous that my muscles tensed up. Nonetheless I am still nervous about the whole thing. I spoke to my boyfriend and he said it would be ok. (He's not a virgin and believes it will just take some time and practice.) I guess in the back of my mind I figure that if my vagina is designed to expand for a child it should be ok for my husband. I guess I'm just nervous because I have not done it yet and it scares me to think that I would have waited over 20 years just to find I cannot be intimate with the one I love. What do you think?

Answer:

You will not have to worry about being able to have sex. You are quite correct, your vagina is very flexible. The typical child's head is about 10 cm (4 inches) across. Your husband's penis is less than an inch across. Your future husband is also correct in that sex takes practice and I'm glad he understands the necessity of not rushing your first experience after you get married.

The important point is being able to relax and enjoy the feelings. You will have given your heart over to this man and I would hope you can trust him in all aspects of your life.

In regards to this, it might help to read the section in Song of Solomon regarding the first night of sex. See: "Their First Night Together."