Q

A

Q

I never had sex before, but I think about it often. Is that a sin?

A

At some point after puberty, people become aware of sexual desire. It is that desire that causes people to search for an acceptable way to fulfill the desire. In other words, sexual desire is what drives many people toward marriage, just as your thirst encourages you to seek out a drink. Therefore, thinking about sex in a general way, wondering at the feelings, and wondering what it will one day be like are all a part of being a human being.

The problem we face is that society has used the strong desire for sex as a marketing tool. Nearly everything is sold by invoking a sexual theme. Songs have to speak explicitly about the act of sex, movies have to feature at least one gratuitous sex scene that really has nothing to do with the movie or the plot line, books have to mention sex, etc. -- all for the sake of producing greater sales. It continues because people love to have it this way.

However, the result is that children become aware of sex at an early age and it impacts our thinking in many ways. It is hard not to think about sex when you are constantly bombarded with images of sex.

Thinking about sex is not wrong in and of itself, but it can easily become wrong. Jesus warned, "But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:28). This can apply to women as well as men. Therefore, to look at someone with the thought of having sex with them is no different than actually doing the act. It is one thing to daydream of one day having a healthy relationship with your husband (whoever he might be), but it is another to contemplate having sex with that handsome jock in math class.

A second problem is that dwelling too much on sex fans the fire. Have you ever gotten an taste for particular type of food. The more you think about it, the more you want it, even though you are still full from your last meal. Most desires operate in this fashion. In the Song of Solomon, the heroine is engaged to be married and she finds herself slipping into daydreams about sex. In each case, she pulls herself up short and delivers this warning, "I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or by the does of the field, do not stir up nor awaken love until it pleases" (Song of Solomon 2:7). Love is one of those things needs time to develop and it doesn't develop well when it is rushed. Too many have the idea that they can "make" another person love them by doing the things that people who are in love do, such as sex. It doesn't work that way.

So, yes, it is a pain to have to keep a rein on your thoughts. Satan will constantly tempt you to take your thoughts further than they should go. But this is a part of being an adult -- learning to exercise self-control. Little kids what instant gratification. Adults realize that many worthwhile things are worth waiting to receive.

Q

A

Is starting the car considered to be driving?

Foreplay is an essential step in preparing for intercourse. During foreplay, the bodies of both the man and woman make numerous adjustments that make the actual step of intercourse pleasurable and possible. When explaining that sex should only take place between a husband and wife, Solomon said, "Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of your youth. As a loving deer and a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times; and always be enraptured with her love." (Proverbs 5:18-19). Have you stopped to think what breasts have to do sex? Even though they are not involved in intercourse, they are involved in foreplay that leads up to intercourse. Foreplay is what leads to sexual satisfaction. Hence, foreplay is one part of the entire act of sex.

A couple engaging in foreplay when they are not married is involved in fornication. They are starting a process to which they have no right to finish.

Q

A

Sex during a woman's menstrual period was forbidden under the Old Testament law. It is a derivative of the laws of uncleanness when a woman is having her monthly period. "If a woman has a discharge, and the discharge from her body is blood, she shall be set apart seven days; and whoever touches her shall be unclean until evening" (Leviticus 15:19). Hence, to purposely ignore this law was willful disobedience. "Also you shall not approach a woman to uncover her nakedness as long as she is in her customary impurity" (Leviticus 18:19). The punishment was exile for both the man and the woman. "If there is a man who lies with a menstruous woman and uncovers her nakedness, he has laid bare her flow, and she has exposed the flow of her blood; thus both of them shall be cut off from among their people" (Leviticus 20:18).

Today we recognized that many of the Mosaical laws of uncleanness encouraged common sense health practices. Blood is rich in nutrients and can easily become a breeding ground for many germs. The chance of passing a disease is significantly higher during your blood flow.

Because we tend to be more sanitary (we bathe frequently) sex during a wife's period is considered safe. It is unlikely that your husband will pass on anything to you to which you have not already been exposed. However, this is not the case in fornication. Those having sex outside of marriage typically have numerous partners and can carry diseases from one partner to the next. This transfer of disease is more likely to occur during a woman's menses. This makes the warnings concerning disease amongst unmarried couples engaging in sex more significant. "And you mourn at last, when your flesh and your body are consumed" (Proverbs 5:11). "Whoever commits adultery with a woman lacks understanding; he who does so destroys his own soul. Wounds and dishonor he will get" (Proverbs 6:32-33).

Q

A

When the hymen is broken, bleeding only lasts for a very short while. In all, approximately a tablespoon of blood is actually lost (far less than the blood you lose during your period); though, it may appear to be more because the blood mixes with the fluids that lubricate the vagina during sex.

Q

Sam (age 14)

A

When a woman becomes pregnant, a plug made up of a thick mucus forms in the cervix at the entrance to the uterus. This plug keeps the baby in a relatively germ-free environment while it is developing. The same plug also keeps out sperm from the husband. A wife can enjoy sex up until a few weeks before the baby is delivered. Near the time for a baby to be delivered, the vagina stretches to make room for the baby and the stretched vagina makes sex difficult. A few weeks after the baby is delivered, the vagina returns to its normal size and sex can resume.

Q

Maria

A

It takes nine months for a baby to develop in the womb before he is born. So a child born on December 22, 2005 was conceived roughly nine months prior -- that is, in March.

But your actual question is how long does it take between sex and conception. Conception is when the sperm unites with an egg to form a child. A woman typically releases one egg per month. For a child to be conceived, a sperm from the husband must meet up with the egg during the first 24-hours after the egg is released from the ovaries. Beyond 24-hours conception cannot take place. From the time of sex, it takes sperm as little as 20 minutes to reach the fallopian tubes where the egg travels toward the uterus. However, sex does not have to take place on the day the egg is released. A man's sperm is able to survive up to six days in a woman's uterus. So if sex takes place within six days before an egg being released, then there will be sperm waiting to meet the egg when it is released.