Remember during your trial how surprised you were, not only to see Matt on the stand stoned, but at how dumbly he answered the questions put to him? I mentioned afterwards not to forget that this is how you are when you use marijuana. I now admit that I was wrong. You're worse.
Yes, when we talked on Monday, I know you were stoned. Thinking back on the things you said left me shaking my head in sadness. My bright young friend is snuffing out his intelligence and he doesn't see it because the marijuana is making him too stupid to see what is happening to himself. I wonder if you have told yourself the same lies Sarah did, that you are smarter and better when you are high.
Solomon talked about the effects of both alcohol and alcohol mixed with drugs:
"Who has woe?
Who has sorrow?
Who has contentions?
Who has complaints?
Who has wounds without cause?
Who has redness of eyes?
Those who linger long at the wine,
Those who go in search of mixed [drugged] wine.
Do not look on the wine when it is red, when it sparkles in the cup, when it swirls around smoothly; at the last it bites like a serpent, and stings like a viper. Your eyes will see strange things, and your heart will utter perverse things. Yes, you will be like one who lies down in the midst of the sea, or like one who lies at the top of the mast, saying: "They have struck me, but I was not hurt; they have beaten me, but I did not feel it. When shall I awake, that I may seek another drink?"" (Proverbs 23:29-35).
You ought to see yourself in this passage because it describes you well. I think what grieves me most is that it is no longer a night time activity for you. You wake up looking for another hit.
Oh, the lies you told the day you left. "I'll try to stay off of marijuana!" Yeah. Right. You told me, "I'm smarter than you think!" All you've managed to do so far is prove that you are far dumber than everyone thought -- because actions speak louder than words.
I'm praying that you will return before the damage is permanent, but my fears sometimes get the best of me and I think perhaps you won't find the strength and courage in time. And then I'll mourn over the waste of such a beautiful life.