Mirror, Mirror on the Wall
What do you see when you look into the mirror each day? It's been a while since I've seen you, but I suspect that any recent changes haven't been improvements. Marijuana doesn't just give you red eyes from all night partying, addicts tend to get less and less concern about their looks and personal hygiene. I doubt you're an exception to the rule.
"Therefore lay aside all filthiness and overflow of wickedness, and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls. But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man observing his natural face in a mirror; for he observes himself, goes away, and immediately forgets what kind of man he was. But he who looks into the perfect law of liberty and continues in it, and is not a forgetful hearer but a doer of the work, this one will be blessed in what he does" (James 1:21-25).
What do you see when you look into your Bible? I know you call yourself Christian and congratulate yourself for going to church once a week, but how are you measuring up? Is your spirit, like your outer man, getting scruffy because you just can't seem to bring yourself to care anymore? Marijuana addiction does do that to people. Joy is sapped out of life. The zeal for God is dying. You spend more time being angry than being happy. In fact, about the only time you believe you're happy is when you're too stoned to care.
I'm so sorry that you've decided to make yourself miserable. I continue to wonder when you will decide to return to true happiness and leave the chains of drugs behind. I continue to look for you, my friend, because I know you are still there underneath all that grime.