Several times you mentioned that life was just a game, sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. I've puzzled over where you got such an idea. You know as well as I do that this isn't a concept taught in the Bible.
God taught you to enjoy life, but with care. "Rejoice, O young man, in your youth, and let your heart cheer you in the days of your youth; walk in the ways of your heart, and in the sight of your eyes; but know that for all these God will bring you into judgment. Therefore remove sorrow from your heart, and put away evil from your flesh, for childhood and youth are vanity" (Ecclesiastes 11:9-10).
You can walk away from a game and no consequences follow you. Games don't impact your life. But in real life, your choices determine your eternity. "As righteousness leads to life, so he who pursues evil pursues it to his own death" (Proverbs 11:19).
If the word of Truth (John 17:17) doesn't teach that life is just a game, then that idea came from another source. "Now the Spirit expressly says that in latter times some will depart from the faith, giving heed to deceiving spirits and doctrines of demons, speaking lies in hypocrisy, having their own conscience seared with a hot iron" (I Timothy 4:1-2). So who is running your game?
Never forget those who love you and are praying for you daily because we won't forget you or give up on you. We know that your life is at stake. To us, this isn't a game.