What Do You Do For Fun?

What Do You Do For Fun?

by Jim McGuiggan
in The Irish Papers

A young man tried to talk a young lady into sexual intercourse but she wouldnít hear tell of it. Then he offered her booze she wouldnít touch. A little later he wanted to share some marijuana with her but she turned that down, too. By this time he was thoroughly disgusted and sulkily demanded to know what she did for fun. She said:

ďI never have to worry about being diseased or pregnant. And thatís fun! That means I donít have to wrestle with a decision to abort an unwanted baby; and thatís fun. And I donít have to wonder if Iím being pawed over by someone who might not want to know me a couple of months from now. And thatís fun. I never have any difficulty remembering what I did the night before and who I did it with; and thatís fun, too. And Iím looking forward to the day when I can give myself totally to my husband rather than give a panicky fraction of me in the back seat of some car. And thatís fun. I can hardly wait, but I will. I wonít ever have to worry about getting a blood test that tells me I have AIDS or some other venereal disease; and believe me, thatís fun. My parents love me more than I can say and if I were to get into trouble, of any kind, theyíd be right there with me. But I never have to worry about seeing them crushed and shamed by some disgraceful behavior of mine, and believe me, as much as I love them - thatís really fun.Ē