What Do You Do For Fun?
by Jim McGuiggan
in The Irish Papers
A young man tried to talk a young lady into sexual intercourse but she wouldn’t hear tell of it. Then he offered her booze she wouldn’t touch. A little later he wanted to share some marijuana with her but she turned that down, too. By this time he was thoroughly disgusted and sulkily demanded to know what she did for fun. She said:
“I never have to worry about being diseased or pregnant. And that’s fun! That means I don’t have to wrestle with a decision to abort an unwanted baby; and that’s fun. And I don’t have to wonder if I’m being pawed over by someone who might not want to know me a couple of months from now. And that’s fun. I never have any difficulty remembering what I did the night before and who I did it with; and that’s fun, too. And I’m looking forward to the day when I can give myself totally to my husband rather than give a panicky fraction of me in the back seat of some car. And that’s fun. I can hardly wait, but I will. I won’t ever have to worry about getting a blood test that tells me I have AIDS or some other venereal disease; and believe me, that’s fun. My parents love me more than I can say and if I were to get into trouble, of any kind, they’d be right there with me. But I never have to worry about seeing them crushed and shamed by some disgraceful behavior of mine, and believe me, as much as I love them - that’s really fun.”