Why can't two women or two men marry and become one flesh?

Question:

Hello,

I am a Christian and I struggle with homosexual feelings. One thing I'm stuck on is the statement that homosexuality is wrong because only a man and woman can become one flesh. Then I ask what is one flesh? And I get the answers...

  1. One flesh is having the same values
  2. One flesh is joining together intimately
  3. One flesh is being there for one another
  4. One flesh is having kids.

I'm not satisfied with these answers because 1 and 3 are possible for two women or men. 2 is possible just different than the usual model. And 4 is to me a bad argument because that means that all couples need to have children if married or they are sinning. Of course I don't believe that. So this one flesh thing after looking at these four things makes no sense to me. I can see two women loving each other and being intimate and sharing goals and having children. They aren't children of their own, so I don't know if that has to do with this one flesh thing. I'm not sure. But I just can't see a homosexual couple getting married harming anyone, if the parents of the people were okay with having grandchildren a non-traditional way. I just can't.

I don't know if you have anything else to add to this discussion with myself. Maybe a point about the one flesh thing that I mentioned. But if you do by all means go ahead.

Sincerely,

A person with bisexuality


Answer:

It is interesting that you pick a single point that you see as a weak to make an argument for homosexuality. Since you are arguing from the Scriptures, then I would have to conclude that you see yourself as a Christian beyond just the verbal claim.  There are many reasons why homosexuality is wrong, the chief of which is that God said it is a sin. For Christians that is a sufficient reason to stay away from it. See: Don't you dare change my mind, but why is homosexuality bad?

The second problem is that you are implying that feelings somehow make a sin right. Feelings are not a moral guide -- the opposite actually. See Proverbs 28:26. Feelings are not reality. They are not the truth.

I think your not understanding me, but that's okay because you don't know me, so I don't expect you to answer like you do know me.

The reason I contacted you is because I don't understand one argument, and I was wondering if you could help me find the answers for it. How is one flesh not possible between a woman and a woman? I listed my reasons on how I see it could be possible because that's all I'm seeing as making sense right now. That lead me to wondering if that argument even has water.

I definitely am a Christian and don't just don't just see myself as one (haha). I am just trying to fill in the blanks where God says it's wrong. You see I'm a very inquisitive woman and if I can't find the answer to why this is wrong behind God just says it's wrong. I can't see how I can help someone who thinks it's right. You see my question isn't really for me, it's more for those who live a homosexual lifestyle and the answer that God just says it's wrong wouldn't help them see why what they are doing is wrong. You know? It just is not enough for some people.

Also you got me wrong on something else, but that's okay. I definitely do not go off my feelings to tell me if something is wrong or right (or at least I know not too (haha)). I just want the logic behind the answer that homosexuality is not okay, you know? The only idea that makes sense to me in some part is a man and woman can't become one, but as I have listed before I also see issues with that argument. I was kind of hoping to find a answer that made complete sense (haha) but I got nothing regarding why the answer is a no. Anyhow, i want to know these answers but of course your human and I'm human, and we don't know all. I think I contacted you for your perspective on this thing. Anyhow I want to know the answers, so I can help others and also help myself along with knowing the answer of why God said no. You know?

Is my response clear? If not please let me know.

I questioned because you ended you letter claiming to be bisexual. A follower of Christ would not want to associate himself with sin by making it sound like he accepted it (Ephesians 5:3-7). While you have questions about one aspect of God's law, there remains many verses that state homosexuality is a sin. A part of faith is trusting God, even when you don't have all the answers.

God established marriage as being between one man and one woman (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:4-6). Arguing that two men or two women ought to also be married is a waste of breath without justification from the Scriptures that God wants it that way. "One flesh" is the establishment of a new family unit and arguing that two men or two women are equivalent to a man and wife forming a family is turning a blind eye to the fact that God designed woman to be a companion of man (Genesis 2:18). The fact that men and women are different, yet complementary, is an essential element to the formation of a family. Sure two women or two men can imitate what a man and woman have, but it remains an imitation.

I don't think arguing about "one flesh" is necessary or productive when there are many clear verses saying that it is wrong. The original link that I sent contains several arguments as to why homosexuality is harmful and not all are based on the Bible.