Do I wait for my boyfriend to marry me?

Question:

I am in my thirties. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 15 years now. We have a child who is 8 years old now. My boyfriend left for another country when I was four months pregnant. I went through my pregnancy and had our child in his absence. My child has only meet his father twice now. I was always truthful about my situation. When I urgently need help urgently, he sends clothes, shoes, money, etc. for our child. However, for all these years he has kept promising to marry me.

I recently found out he was married to a woman in the country he now lives. I confronted him about the so-called marriage and he said he did it to survive in the other country. I accepted it all on faith, but he keeps promising to come and see my parents, which he has yet to do.

Another man is seeking for my hand in marriage now, but he wants me to take my child to his father's family or mine because he doesn't want to raise another man's child.

My question is what should I do? Should I continue waiting for my child's father to fulfill his promise to me, or should I send my child to a relative to raise and follow the new man?

Please, I need your advice.


Answer:

You committed fornication with a man, who then left the country and married another woman. This is not a "so-called" marriage. It is what he chose to do. He is not available for another marriage according to God's law until his current wife dies (Romans 7:2-3). Waiting for him is useless.

Because of your choices, you have a child to raise. It isn't your child's fault that his mother sinned and made some bad choices. To give away your child because you want to marry another man is to avoid your responsibilities. Until your child is an adult, you are a package deal. Any man who wants you will have to also become the father your child never had -- that will take an extra special man.

Thank you!