I don't want to, but I keep committing fornication with a woman I don't love


Hello minister,

Please, I need your urgent intervention. I have been involved in sexual intercourse with a lady I don't intend to marry. I have a fiancee whom I am patiently waiting to marry after school. We only see each other once a year. Any time we are together, we always restrain ourselves from fornication. I have been flirting with this woman. Eventually I told her was no longer interested and I asked God for forgiveness. But any time she comes to visit me unannounced, I found myself sexually arouse, and we end up having sex. I have tried very hard to get her out of my life. I keep asking God for forgiveness, but I still commit the same sin. I am tired of all this. I see myself as not being faithful to God and my fiancee. What can I do to get her out of my life permanently without quarrels or problem between us? I don't want to do this again. I believe that I have been deprived of God blessing as a result of these acts. My greatest weakness is sexual things.

Please help me with Bible passages and prayers that will make God forgive me and restore His blessings back to me. I am ready to turn a new leaf. I am ready to be more faithful to God and my fiancee. Please note that I am a Christian.

Please help. Thanks


"The mouth of an immoral woman is a deep pit; he who is abhorred by the LORD will fall there" (Proverbs 22:14).

By calling an immoral woman a deep pit, the writer is referring to a trap that you use to hunt large animals. A deep pit is easy to fall into, but it is hard to get back out of it without help. This woman has caught you. It is easy to shed clothing and have sex when the other person is encouraging you to do so.

The reason you haven't done this with your fiancee is because you don't see her often and she doesn't try to get you aroused and your pants off. In other words, I don't think your restraint is due to you.

I disagree when you say you've done everything to get this immoral woman out of your life. You have two things working against you: you like sex and you don't want to hurt this woman's feelings. Meanwhile, she uses you for her pleasure and you willingly go along with it. Regarding the immoral woman, Solomon said, "Remove your way far from her, and do not go near the door of her house" (Proverbs 5:8). Regarding wickedness in general, including sexual immorality, he said, "Do not enter the path of the wicked, and do not walk in the way of evil. Avoid it, do not travel on it; turn away from it and pass on. For they do not sleep unless they have done evil; and their sleep is taken away unless they make someone fall" (Proverbs 4:14-16). You are trying to be nice to a woman who determined to get you aroused. It can't be done. Cut off all connection to this woman. Do not allow her to enter your house again. You don't have to explain yourself or give her excuses.

The fact that you must face is that you are responsible for your choices. You are in sin because you chose to be, and you will only leave when you make the choice that God is more important than sex. You ask about some way to make God forgive you. No man can make God do anything. You have to submit to what God commands of you. "But if a wicked man turns from all his sins which he has committed, keeps all My statutes, and does what is lawful and right, he shall surely live; he shall not die. None of the transgressions which he has committed shall be remembered against him; because of the righteousness which he has done, he shall live. "Do I have any pleasure at all that the wicked should die?" says the Lord GOD, "and not that he should turn from his ways and live?"" (Ezekiel 18:21-23). Whether you stop having sex with this woman is your choice, no one, including God, is going to make you behave. You have to choose to love God. Only then is forgiveness available. "I tell you, no; but unless you repent you will all likewise perish" (Luke 13:3).

You call yourself a Christian, but, as you noted, you are not faithful. As things currently stand, you will not make it to heaven. "Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God" (I Corinthians 6:9-10). The only way out is to make a radical change in your life.

Hello sir,

Thanks for your response. Everything you said is exactly what I am facing. May the grace and anointing of God never depart from you in Jesus' name.

I have told her very clearly that I will have nothing more to do with her ever again. No more relationship. I am ready to do that which God has commanded. I have ask God for forgiveness and hope He has forgiven me. I will flee or keep silent when discussions about sexual things are made. I am much more careful about sin. I want God to have confidence in me. All I need is God's mercy. Please pray for me in your prayers. I would appreciate your materials if any that will help me grow spiritually and live above sin.

Thanks and God bless.

Since I don't know exactly what you desire to learn, I would suggest browsing La Vista's web site for things to study. You might want to start with Lies Pornography Tells Men.