Question:

Hi,

I have a question it lies heavy on my heart and I have talked to many people about this and I still don't have an correct answer, since everyone's meaning and opinion differ from one another. But I would like to have the Christian way of doing it and understanding the situation correctly.

My partner and I have been together for a while now. After several months of dating we moved in together. Soon after that one thing led to another and we had sex. I know it's wrong since we are not married yet. I pray about it every night, and I have ask the Lord to forgive me for we have sinned. Is it still considered a sin if you keep on living together and keep on having intercourse? We both know and want to get married we are currently engaged and we want to spend the rest of our lives together the only thing standing in our way of getting married is expensive. We barely get by every month and for us to pay for a wedding now is too costly.

I don't know what to make of this. Are we still living a sin? What can we do what are we supposed to do?

Please, please help! Are we as a couple supposed to stop having intercourse and move out after we already created a life together, even if we know we are going to get married?

The reason for this confusion is that I consider myself a child of God, and I know He forgives all our sins, but today a friend I know from church said God will only forgive your sins if you truly mean it, never do it again, and if you know in your heart what you are doing is wrong then it is wrong. And that after life you will be punished for what you have sinned on earth?

Is that true? My partner and I are doing is it just sinning over and over again I am not sure what to make of it.


Answer:

Fornication is when two people, who are not married to each other, have sex. It does not become less of a sin because you moved in with each other. It doesn't stop being a sin because you are thinking about getting married. It remains a sin. "Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge" (Hebrews 13:4).

Your argument makes no sense. You chose to move in together and have sex. Now you are saying that because you decided to sin, that this should become acceptable because you choose to continue the sin.

Though you consider yourself a Christian, God said, "Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God" (I Corinthians 6:9-10). Members of the church who remain in fornication are to be withdrawn from: "But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat" (I Corinthians 5:11). Continued sin is not to be tolerated.

Since you are not turning away from sin, asking God for forgiveness regarding something that you continue to do is useless. Forgiveness of sin is based on repentance (turning away from) sin. "I tell you, no, but unless you repent, you will all likewise perish" (Luke 13:3).

As I've written in the past, you are setting your personal preferences for a fancy wedding above doing what God requires. A civil marriage through the government generally costs very little money. If you want a fancy wedding, you could do that later when you are able to save the money. Such is far better than continuing to sin. "But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion" (I Corinthians 7:8-9).