Question:

Hi,   

I am struggling a lot with fitting in.  I was not raised in the church. I found the truth over 30 years ago. I have moved to different states for various reasons. I have had an on going struggle trying to find my place in each congregation. I feel sometimes it is a hard nut to crack at times to really get to know other members.  I don't have problems walking up to others.  I feel left out a lot due to not having family members.  It's hard to see folks going home with family or going out to eat.  It feels lonely.  For the most part I cope well. But let holidays come around and it's painful.  I am the only member of the church in my family.  Anyway I have written to you because I read your articles.  I find this site biblically sound. If you want to send some feed back that would be fine with me.


Answer:

What I would suggest is "turning the tables." Ask families to come over to your place for a meal. Invite people to join you at a restaurant or let everyone know you are going out for ice cream and see who wants to come along. In other words, instead of waiting for someone to ask you to join them, start asking "them" to join you.

Something one of the members here started doing is a Friday "salad club." The family provides a different soup or salad each week at lunch time and has the preacher come and hold a Bible study (we are currently studying Revelation). Anyone interested is invited to come.

On holidays invite singles or people who don't have family nearby to come over and pool your resources to have a feast.

Pick a day and host a crafty party or a game night.

What you will find is that people will not only start coming but they will also start inviting you to join them in their activities.

"Treat others the same way you want them to treat you" (Luke 6:31).