I came across your website over a year ago and have found it to be sound and very helpful. I am a member of the body of Christ, the church of Christ. I am 21 years old and have been a Christian for many years and have seen how the gospel of Christ has significantly changed my life. But recently there have been some things that I've been struggling with.
For example, I was wondering if my baptism was valid. I was baptized at the age of 12 by my own choice because I didn't want Jesus to return and find me in my sins. I had heard the gospel. I certainly believed. I confessed that Jesus Christ is the son of the living God and I was baptized, but I'm not sure if I repented. I knew quite a lot about God's Word. I was aware of the consequences of sin and the fact that it displeased God and I held back from doing certain stuff, but I really never got serious (or matured) until I fell sick several years later. That was the point in time that I really turned to God.
I baptized again a few months ago, but I have cast that off as invalid because of another struggle I was going through at the time of the re-baptism. I was doubting the existence of God. At that time I was teaching a youth class about the facts of creation and evolution and that was when the doubt emerged. I have carefully studied both sides and have concluded that the big-bang theory and macro-evolution is not logical and has no evidence to support its case, but I still struggle with doubt. I don't struggle to believe whether evolution is true, I struggle with being assured and convicted that my God is there in heaven and that He listens to me when I pray, and that I will one day spend eternity with Him. I have listened, watched and studied many of the faith lessons on your site and several others. The evidence points toward a Creator and the teachings found in the Bible, but I struggle to walk by faith and not by sight. There are times when I am totally convicted that my God exists, but then after a while I slip right back into doubt.
I guess my faith is weak and I really don't have a complete trust for God's Word. I'm also afraid that I might be wrong and it sometimes seems difficult to come to a conclusion in a world full of lies. I'm searching for the truth and I want to be totally convicted of it without ever slipping back into doubt. My desire is to be sure and being sure in doing what God wants me to do. I will appreciate any help you can give.
Looking forward to your response.
The problem isn't the validity of your baptism, it is the strength of your faith. You see evidence that shows that random chance could not have created a world as we have today, you also see evidence that there must be a Creator behind everything. Instead of letting that evidence build your faith, you are demanding greater proof for yourself. It is sort of like the Pharisees. No matter what miracles Jesus performed they always demanded a greater sign before they would believe. The truth of the matter is that there was never sufficient evidence to convince them because they already decided against Jesus.
A second part of this problem is that you are demanding of yourself perfect faith. Faith is something that grows. "We are bound to thank God always for you, brethren, as it is fitting, because your faith grows exceedingly, and the love of every one of you all abounds toward each other" (II Thessalonians 1:3). None of us have perfect faith. All of us have ample room to grow our faith further and a lack of full faith is doubt.
You are convicted that God exists. You have no other explanation for the world. Therefore, let that faith grow. You know the Word of God is true and you've seen it make changes in your life and the life of others. Therefore, as you live you will see bits and pieces of evidence that can add to your faith if you will let it grow.
Thank you for reaching out and for being truthful. I will work on doing so and please keep me in your prayers. Keep on being a faithful servant of God and never stop sharing God's word. "And how can anyone preach unless they are sent? As it is written: "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!" - Romans 10:15.