Question:

I am a 23 years old female. I am Christian but I'm struggling with sexual immorality with different partners because when things are bad I break up with one and try another one thinking that he might be the one or he might be better than the previous one. I have been trying to be faithful to God's  commandments, but with the relationships I involve myself in I end up breaking the laws of God and satisfying my partners desires. I am not really in it because all I want is to do things according to the word of God, but I end up not doing it. I'm so messed up. I don't know what to do because I always ask forgiveness from God, but I end up repeating the same things.

All I want is to get married, so that I get rid of this sin. I always feel condemned and not worthy of God's forgiveness. I end up not flowing well in my spiritual life and all the man I fall in love with seem not to have the desire that I do in sticking to God's principles. These relationships end up messy and they leave me so broken.

I feel so exhausted with this life. Please help.


Answer:

If you want to get married, you're going about it the wrong way. First, you are choosing men because they take interest in you and not because they are living a Christian life. You are putting being in a relationship ahead of having a relationship with Christ. I suspect you excuse it part because you see yourself as mostly good. "For whoever shall keep the whole law, and yet stumble in one point, he is guilty of all" (James 2:10). No one keeps the law perfectly; yet, this does not excuse the breaking of God's law. The simple fact is that you are continuing in the sin of fornication and that sin is going to keep you out of heaven if you don't do something about it. "Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God" (I Corinthians 6:9-10). And claiming that you don't really want to do it while doing it is an empty statement.

Therefore, no more excuses about satisfying his needs. He can satisfy them without sinning with you. If a guy indicates he wants sex before marriage, you walk out the door because that man is not living the Christian life and he won't make a good husband. Your duty is not to satisfy men's desire for sex. You are looking for a man who can give you good reasons to be your husband while you show him that you will make a good wife. That means the man needs to show that he has your best interest at heart. Right now the guys all show that they put their own wants first.

Beyond picking bad men to date, another reason you aren't getting married is because you don't give men a reason to marry you. One of the big drives toward marriage is the allowance to have sex; yet, you offer that without commitment. Yet, without commitment when things go sour, there is no reason to stay. You move to the next guy, he moves to the next gal, and the cycle repeats. This running from difficulties spills over to other aspects of your life. It even affects your relationship with Christ. "Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take away the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? May it never be! Or do you not know that the one who joins himself to a prostitute is one body with her? For He says, "the two shall become one flesh." But the one who joins himself to the Lord is one spirit with Him. Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body" (I Corinthians 6:15-20).

The way out of this cycle is to put Christ first. Walk out on the bums. Sure, you may spend more of your days alone while you look for the right guy, but it is better than spending your nights in sin.

Thank you, Jeffrey, I needed to hear the truth. Indeed it is true that what I'm doing is an excuse. If y I'm serious about God, I should make a decision to be faithful in obeying His commandments. First step I'm taking is fully repenting because I am tried of the lifestyle . I want to break free from it and serve God wholeheartedly because in His word He states that all human beings were created to reverence God and obey His commandments. So by the strength God gives, I believe I shall break free

Now you are talking more sensibly. Now you need to put your words into action.