Question:

Dear Minister,

My 19 months courtship just broke down last month. I and my fiancée did our introduction ceremony last year. However, one thing that plagued my life before I met her, even as a Christian, was that I lost self-control and committed sexual immoralities. At the time I met her, I was free of such and she also being a very spiritual lady made me realize with God's intervention and her encouragement that our relationship would be holy and pure until marriage.

I met her through God's revelation that she was my wife-to-be. It was what He wanted for me as His will. She also validated this. She told me when I proposed to her then that she already knew that too and immediately our love blossomed such that people wondered how it could be that good. Almost everyone including our elders wanted our kind of relationship.

I believe God's word in Hebrews 13:4, "Marriage is honorable in all and the bed undefiled…" This was our watchword until a certain time I began to kiss and romance her. Though there was no sex, we were touching sensitive parts. Both of us were so careless, always hugging and feeling each other's body. It was so terrible she reported us to her mentor, who told her to disengage from me. It was hard to take but when she went far away for a year for national service I continued to pray and fast for restoration and God did it. After a few months, we started talking and got back together stronger.  But the defilement wouldn't stop as I lacked self-control. I still kissed her and did foolish things that made her unhappy, although at such instances we repented and ask God for His mercies. That year we did our introduction with friends, families and well-wishers in attendance.

She finished her national service and came to join me, although we were not living together as we were not married yet. We wanted to uphold God's standard of holy matrimony. She came to visit me at my friend's house one day, and she slept in a separate room. However, before leaving her room, there and then we feel into sexual sin and the guilty was great. We cried and wept our hearts out. Both of our families haven't had a smooth, Holy Ghost led relationship ever leading to a wedding ordained by God. Ours was supposed to be the first. Now sin came to spoil our testimony. We prayed for restoration to God and promised not to involve ourselves in the sin again.

To be honest, we had intercourse about 3 or 4 more times at different locations. It surely was the devil influencing us. The great relationship God gave us was destroyed. God's perfect plan for our lives was ruined. Before I met her, she was a fiery, spirit-filled sister who stood for nothing but God and His truth. Because of the sins we committed with each other, she and I went down spiritually and she decided we need to seek God's face, to see if He still wanted us to be together or not.

During these times of sinfulness and defilement, things turned sour between us as we were always arguing, saying abusive words to each other, getting angry easily, being provoked among it all. It came to a time she said some derogatory words to me and I held her head and hair in anger and almost beat her up. How terrible can the consequences of engaging in sin be! The joy, peace, righteousness, holiness, enjoying each other's company all went away!

I surrendered myself to God and renewed my life with His words. While I was praying and fasting for about a week, God revealed to me He still wants us to be together and that He will bring her back.

When I asked her what she saw, she said she finally realized we cannot be together and that God showed her something which she refused to say. After much pressure, she said God told her the only thing He cannot fix about us is the relationship we had. Then I knew I had to intensify my prayers by first reconciling to God and praying for restoration of the relationship. 

Now, I've been praying to God to restore my relationship with Him first and if it is in line with His will and purpose, He should restore my relationship which sin has broken.

Please join me in prayers people.  Thank God I came across this website, I have been encouraged more than ever to let go and let God help me. We actually planned to wed later this year. We are both of the same age, our families are so disappointed and praying to God to have His way.

Please pray to God for us for restoration. I also need deliverance because in the series of revelations she had, I was told a spirit of dog (representing sexual immoralities and perversion) is chasing me about and trying to bring me into shame. She even had some revelations about how we can go about the deliverance with some spiritual exercises. But now she is gone from me and wouldn't change her mind. She already blocked all her online accounts which I had access to and changed her status on Facebook to "Single". She said it was all a mistake from the start and that she is now sure God didn't lead her to the relationship, that all the revelations she had at the start were not from God and she should have listened to her mentor and left me long ago.


Answer:

Unintentionally, your note illustrates the reason the claims of having direct revelations from God are false. Despite the clear teaching that prophecy would end, people continue to claim 2,000 years later that speaks to them directly. The only method of communication from God is through Jesus, which is in turn through the Bible. "God, who at various times and in various ways spoke in time past to the fathers by the prophets, has in these last days spoken to us by His Son, whom He has appointed heir of all things, through whom also He made the worlds" (Hebrews 1:1-2). Prophecy was used to deliver the message, but now that the perfect message is delivered, the gifts, such as prophecy, has been removed. "Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away" (I Corinthians 13:8-10).

Notice that both you and your girlfriend claim to have messages from God, but those messages did not come to be. You claim that she was to be your wife; yet, she wants nothing to do with you anymore. She said she got the same message, but then got a different message. Now she is claiming the opposite of what she claimed at the start. God doesn't produce confusion. "For God is not the author of confusion but of peace, as in all the churches of the saints" (I Corinthians 14:33). God never lies (Titus 1:2), so what He says always comes true and He never contradicts Himself. "And if you say in your heart, 'How shall we know the word which the LORD has not spoken?' - when a prophet speaks in the name of the LORD, if the thing does not happen or come to pass, that is the thing which the LORD has not spoken; the prophet has spoken it presumptuously; you shall not be afraid of him" (Deuteronomy 18:21-22). Even without being told that prophecy ended, you and your girlfriend show the qualities of false prophets.

Then in your prayers, you and your girlfriend don't demonstrate acceptance of your responsibilities. You want God to fix this relationship, but it was you who sinned and who then directed your anger at her, which shows you blame her (and she blames you) for the sins you committed. You claim that God said that He would bring her back. She claims that God said He can't fix your relationship. God taught all of mankind how to have a proper relationship, which neither of you followed. The reason it broke up was due to your sins. Whether it comes back together will depend on whether both of you decide you want to work on the relationship and stop sinning.

All I see are two people who take whatever they personally wish and then claim that those personal desires are God talking to them. If you want to have a good life and make it to heaven, you need to drop the pretenses, open your Bible, and start living the life God requires of all men.