Question:

What happens if you fornicate with the person you intend on marrying? You know how secret sins are- very addictive! And you acknowledge that it is a sin and you wish to stop!

I'm 21 years old. I never had sex before I came to Christ. I'd always believed in God from a young age anyway because I was brought up into a Christian family. But when I was 18 I had the conviction of who I was in Christ, that was when I had an experiential knowledge of God, and developed a real relationship with him. I even used to teach Sunday school in church. The insight into the word I'd get was beyond ordinary (to the glory of God) and more, I actually loved talking about Him and the word!

That same year was when I started struggling with my flesh more. I met this really amazing guy the year before. Sex wasn't even on the agenda, but somehow it happened and again and again. It continued for two years. I just wanted to be free. I'm in love with this guy and it isn't even lust. I pray for him and that's borne out of a heart of love. I always resolve to stay pure, but somehow this love has been corrupted! I can't seem to knock off this urge to be with him (sexually), but I don't want to! I hate it! I always pray about it.

What do you advise, please? I've stayed away from sex so far this year, but part of it is due to the distance we live apart. Is it a good plan to maintain the distance while we work toward getting married? Or just let go of the relationship ?


Answer:

You make it sound as if you had no choice, which is clearly not the case. All Christians have to put their personal desires to be subservient to the desires of God. "Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God" (I Corinthians 6:9-10). You must decide whether God or the desire of your body rules in your life. But Paul expresses what should be on the tongue of every Christian: "I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me" (Galatians 2:20).

Whether you go ahead and get married or decided to end the relationship is up to you. I can't make that decision for you. But what isn't an option is continuing to sin.

By the way, the Bible doesn't talk about becoming a Christian through an "experience." God is clear what needs to be done to be saved from your sins. See: How to Become a Christian.