Question:

Good morning. Thank you for allowing me share this. I recently just found out about your page.

I'm doing this for my good friend because I am worried. He is in his twenties. A few years ago, he reached a low point in his life. He saw an escort. After that it became a habit for him. Since I've known him he's had a good relationship with God. I see it, he doesn't even have to tell me, so I was really shocked hearing this.

Last year he said he was never going to go back, this year, he has gone several times. Although better than the previous years, he is still falling.

He has a girlfriend, but he hasn't told her about it completely, and he wants to marry her.

Please help pray for him. He is like a brother to me and please share what we can do. Praying seems like he is disrespecting God as he often falls back


Answer:

"Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God" (I Corinthians 6:9-10).

Your friend is lying to himself and others. He is not in a good relationship with God because his sin of fornication is between him and God. "Behold, the LORD'S hand is not shortened, that it cannot save; nor His ear heavy, that it cannot hear. But your iniquities have separated you from your God; and your sins have hidden His face from you, so that He will not hear" (Isaiah 59:1-2). Obedience to God is not optional, nor can you saying you are doing everything else right so this one sin can be overlooked.

What is particularly sad about his sin is that there is zero reason for him to be involved in it. Yes, men have a strong desire for sex, but he is able to live without sex and he had done so before a few years ago. It isn't something he accidentally does. He has to search out a prostitute, he wastes his money on her, just for a few minutes of pleasure.

His girlfriend does need to know about his habit for several reasons:

  • He is not a virgin. She needs to know this before marriage.
  • He has exposed himself to sexually transmitted diseases. Even getting himself tested, there is a risk of transmitting some disease to his future wife.
  • Because he has not conquered this sin, he is likely to continue after marriage and she needs to decide if she wants to risk that.

I would not recommend that he marry until he can demonstrate a radical change in his life for at least a year. This is not a game to be played with other people's lives and their happiness.