How do you pick a good boyfriend?


God bless you,

I am a born again Christian lady who has been actively involved in the work of God. I'm 21 years of age. I fell in love with a guy who claimed to be a Christian. Actually, the first day we met he was recovering from a hangover. I thought I could help him to become a better Christian, but I ended up giving in to his sexual  advances even though it started off as an innocent friendship. I realized that my spiritual life kept getting weaker. I stopped praying and studying my Bible. I became a fake Christian and very restless. Deep down  I knew the Holy Spirit was convicting my heart. He wanted me to let him go because God has better plans for me. I broke up with him and cut every contact with him. I've asked God for forgiveness, but I am still struggling to maintain sexual purity.

Please, help me.


"You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thornbushes or figs from thistles? Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Therefore by their fruits you will know them" (Matthew 7:16-20).

I'm often amazed how people lie to themselves. You say he claimed to be a Christian, but the day you met him he was recovering from being drunk. "Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God" (I Corinthians 6:9-10). You knew he was worldly and not a Christian, but you thought you could change him. Instead, he unsurprisingly changed you. After all, Paul also warned, "Do not be deceived: "Bad company corrupts good morals"" (I Corinthians 15:33). But you deceived yourself anyway.

I'm glad to hear you got rid of the bum and are determined to live faithfully. Maintaining sexual purity isn't that hard when you make your decisions based on God's teachings. Sex doesn't happen by accident. It takes a series of decisions. If you don't compromise at the start, you don't have to make hard choices at the end. Stop making emotional decisions and start using your head.

Thanks for the advice. I want to make things right, and I'm going to do my very best.