I have never been married, but I do have children. (I know -- not good.) My child's father and I broke up and a few weeks later he married the girl with whom he had cheated on me. After nearly a year of no communication, he reached out to me. We discovered that we were both still love with each other and wanted to make it work. He told me that he wasn't in love with his wife and that the only reason he married her was to get over me, so they eloped.
The issue is we both want our family to work. We want to get married, but obviously that's not possible right now. He has told his wife that he was in love with me and wanted to be with me, but she wants to work things out. I guess my question is: What should we do? Should we walk away or is there a way God will accept our marriage if he gets a divorce? We have not had a physical relationship since we broke up, if that matters.
I am desperate for an answer. I am overwhelmed with emotions I don't know what else to do. Please help us.
The man you were committing fornication with for all those years made up his mind. He married another woman. He is in a covenant relationship that lasts for the rest of their lives. "And He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate"" (Matthew 19:4-6).
Even if he divorced his wife, it would not allow him to marry you. The only time that is allowed is if his wife was having sex with another man, which then led to their divorce.
He is a married man, any involvement by you would be adultery. He's crossed a point from which there is no returning, so tell him goodbye and move on.
You need to come to realize that there is a reason why fornication is a sin. It is more than that God says "No" to it. When you are not married, there is no commitment. At most there is only intentions. You talked about him cheating on you, but it would closer to the truth that you and he were cheating with each other. He just broadened the field of who he as cheating with. Now he is cheating on his wife. This isn't a guy who is trustworthy.
You need to find a real man. Someone who respects you and God. Such a man will deserve your love and will be the loving father to all your children.
Thank you so much!