Question:

Hi Mr Hamilton,

It's always a pleasure writing to you. I'm currently in my late twenties. I had quite a number of heartbreaks, so I'd taken a break. I was just being friendly to the girls and in doing so I happened to like two of them. Suprisingly both of them happen to share most of my values. Actually the two check out everything on my checklist.

Now here is the problem: Though I really appreciate both A and B, I was begining to like A more than B. However it seems B happened to like me and began showing a lot of interest in me. I now talk more to B than to A, but I feel more attracted to A than I am to B. I don't want to ask both out but I don't know how to choose one. I'm afraid that if I ask out B, I'll lose out on A. Yet if I ask out A, I'll be kind of turning down B, who has already shown interest in me. Both are equally great girls and I'm totally confused.


Answer:

I'm sure there are numerous guys who are totally jealous of your situation. Since a marriage requires two people working together and you know that B is interested in you, then you should ask her out first to see if your impressions regarding her are correct or not. Attraction is nice, but it is an unstable foundation for a long-term relationship.

If things between you and B don't work out, you can always go back to see if A is still available or not. But this is a case where you have to be willing to take a risk. Start with the choice that is more likely to succeed in the long run.

Hi,

Thank you so much for your advice. I asked out B, and we actually click more than I initially expected. What even shocks me more is that I no longer find A that attractive, though I still appreciate that she is a wonderful lady.

Once again, thank you.