Question:

I have been attending a church of Christ since I was born, and I made the decision to be baptized when I was in my teenage years. I'm now in my early twenties and in grad school. My faith and my beliefs are a major part of my life. As such, I shied away from dating throughout most of college. While there are many things I look for in a girlfriend and future spouse, number one on that list is that she too has been baptized and is a member of the church. I just feel like that is a solid foundation on which everything else in a relationship can be built and helps avoid issues in the future when it comes time to have kids.

The problem is that there is a girl from school that I get along very well with. We really like each other and she is always dropping hints about wanting to spend time together. We have similar interests and a lot in common. The only issue is that she's a Baptist. We talk a lot after class, but the topic of religion has never come up. So far we haven't spent any time together because I can already see where this is heading. I'm afraid that if I allow myself to get too close to her that it will only make her like me more. Or that I'll wind up having to reject her because of her religious views. So when she hints around about spending time with me I usually find an excuse or just try to remain oblivious to it.

If she had the same religious views as me, then I would definitely pursue a relationship. But she doesn't. And I don't want to let myself get involved with someone who doesn't share my beliefs.

Any advice for me?


Answer:

"And Jesus came up and spoke to them, saying, "All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age"" (Matthew 28:18-20).

I think it is a shame that you are avoiding talking about the one issue that is very important in your life. I would suggest that you do talk about religion and the Bible for no other reason than being concerned about another person's soul. I suspect that these conversations will give you more understanding regarding the type of person she is than any of the other topics you've covered.

Hold to your principles of not getting serious over any girl who is not a true Christian, but don't let your desire to find a good wife get in your way of spreading the gospel. Now, if she does become interested in the Christianity taught in the Bible and decides to become a child of God, then you can consider her as a possible wife. But one step at a time first.

Right now your interest in her is more build on your imagination than reality. You've been avoiding talking about religion because you don't want reality, but if you are going to find a wife one day, you need to be able to see people as they are.