Question:

Praise the Lord!

I have a fiancee. We were both born again Christians, but we fell into the sin of sex. Due to that sin my fiancee is now pregnant. Initially, some advised us to have an abortion, but we didn't do that because we knew it was a sin. We asked for forgiveness from the Lord due to our fornication, and He has forgiven us.

My questions are:

  1. Is there a need to get married? Some preachers say that if you committed fornication, it is already a marriage before God.
  2. What will happen to the new baby spiritually?
  3. Some of the fellowship members consider us as people who cannot be accepted again before the Lord. What shall we do?
  4. We love each other, so is there anything can stop us from moving foward?

Answer:

I'm glad you did not fall for the trap of trying to fix a sin with a sin. "And why not say (as we are slanderously reported and as some claim that we say), "Let us do evil that good may come"? Their condemnation is just" (Romans 3:8). I would strongly suggest that those giving this advice have marked themselves as unfaithful Christians. I would not take advice from them in the future.

You are not married. Any preacher suggesting that sinning creates a marriage is woefully wrong. See:

Every time you have sex with your fiancee, you are committing fornication yet again. There is no reason for the two of you not to go ahead and get married. "But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I. But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion" (I Corinthians 7:8-9).

What happens to your child depends on how you raise him. The child does not inherit your sins. "The person who sins will die. The son will not bear the punishment for the father's iniquity, nor will the father bear the punishment for the son's iniquity; the righteousness of the righteous will be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked will be upon himself" (Ezekiel 18:20).

Clearly you are with a group who don't understand the Scriptures well. Since when are former sinners rejected? When Corinth was allowing a man who was having sex with his step-mother to remain in their fellowship, they were told to withdraw from him (I Corinthians 5:1-13). A year later Paul wrote to the Corinthians and scolded them again, this time because they refused to allow the repented man back into their assembly. "But if any has caused sorrow, he has caused sorrow not to me, but in some degree -- in order not to say too much -- to all of you. Sufficient for such a one is this punishment which was inflicted by the majority, so that on the contrary you should rather forgive and comfort him, otherwise such a one might be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. Wherefore I urge you to reaffirm your love for him. For to this end also I wrote, so that I might put you to the test, whether you are obedient in all things" (II Corinthians 2:5-9).

Even more critical is to realize that each person's salvation is dependent on their ability to forgive others. "For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions" (Matthew 6:14-15). Forgiveness is the treating another person as if their sin never happened.

If this group continues to hold your past sins against you after you have given them up, then I would suggest finding a true group of Christians to worship with.

The only one stopping you from correcting your past mistakes are yourselves. Get married. Raise a beautiful child to be faithful to the Lord. And give yourselves whole to God.

Thanks servant of God. I am really blessed with your advice, especially the scripture.