Its a long story with a question in it. But to answer the question, I think you should understand my journey from being a Muslim.
I am a Muslim and I was in a relationship with a Christian girl for nearly seven years. In that seven years I know I have been cheating her with many other girls which she never found out. I was never honest with her, and we even used to abuse each other verbally and physically so I found comfort in other girls, but still couldn't leave her because deep inside I loved her a lot.
Eventually we broke up, but we still used to contact each other every now and then. However, things just kept getting worse, and we stopped the contact completely. It was after two years she left me that I realized the importance of her love and how much she was worth. Ever since I regretted everything I did to her. Recently I heard she was baptized again and born again. I didn't know the significance of all this because I was born Muslim but never lived a Muslim life, but one thing I was sure, she was never going to come back to me. Recently I moved out of my country, and I have been getting more spiritual in my thoughts. Whenever I was alone and bored, I used to think about God and what the truth is. I went to a mosque and prayed every day. I asked God to show me the truth. It was a coincidence that I started to learn about Jesus. I wanted to explore the truth. I came to understand about eternal life and it was only then I started to know about it. According to my religion I am committing a sin by learning about another religion and Jesus. I can even get murdered by the stupid community.
I went through many web sites exploring the truth. Meanwhile I got in touch with my ex-girlfriend, asking her to forgive my sins and that I wanted to compensate for every mistake I did to her. Eventually she agreed to meet me. I went to my country and I met her once. She gave me a Bible to study. I found that to be one of the best gifts to ever have. I continued my studies and this time my intention was to know the truth to be saved. She explained to me many things about Jesus and his example.
I went abroad again, and I was all alone. I completely dedicated my time to reading the gospels and praying to God to reveal to me the truth. I confessed my past and my dirty activities to God as I repented a lot and I cried for forgiveness. I experienced Jesus' presence in everything I did. I felt he was guiding me and giving me answers through the gospels. One day I was 'asked' to confess all my past and about how I cheated on my girlfriend during those seven years. She also kept asking me if there was anything that I have hid from her. I strongly believed Jesus was with me and he was giving me the confidence to confess to her. I told her everything and how I was involved in sexual activities with other girls. She couldn't bear any of it. She cried a lot. She told me she forgives me for everything I did to her. But ever since she hasn't replied to me or answered my calls. She just left me unanswered and she wouldn't reply to anything. She left me although she told me she would forgive me for a better start again.
I was getting there, to accept Jesus as my Savior and Lord. I was preparing myself to get baptized. It's at this time that she left me. I strongly believe I did the right thing by telling her my past because I wanted to make sure I don't hide anything from her. I could feel she started loving me again. But ever since she left me again, I feel empty. I feel Jesus left me too. I know it's stupidity to think that way. I still pray a lot. I still read the gospels. I honestly want to continue worshiping Jesus. I believe he is the way, the truth and the life. I learned about other religions and salvation, but nothing could be compared to what Jesus promised us. How he died on the cross for our sins and how he was resurrected. But now I don't understand what is stopping me. I want to make sure I do it right. I wanted to know if it's because of my girlfriend that I decided to get baptized, and is it because she left me that I am in doubt. I pray for a vision or something that Jesus could reveal himself to me to accept the truth.
I clearly understand that, even if my girlfriend is not in my life, I can still dedicate my life for good, to lead my life according to God's will, be righteous and lead a moral life with prayers and reading the gospels. But I don't know If I should get baptized or wait for the right time that Jesus would reveal to me. Can you please help me with what to decide?
You've come a long way on your journey, but there is still a long ways to travel. In reality when you do decide to become a Christian, that is just the start of the journey. "But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn, that shines brighter and brighter until the full day" (Proverbs 4:18). Therefore, the first task is to make sure you start your journey correctly. I would like you to read What Must I Do to be Saved? and How to Become a Christian. These will give you a better idea of what is required of you to become a Christian.
You asked when would be a good time to be baptized? If you understand that you need baptism for forgiveness of sin (Acts 2:38), to wash away your sins (Acts 22:16), and to be saved (I Peter 3:21), then it should be equally clear that this is not something you put off. "For He says: "In an acceptable time I have heard you, And in the day of salvation I have helped you." Behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation" (II Corinthians 6:2). See: Why Were They Baptized So Soon?
Perhaps the fact that your girlfriend left will accomplish some good. If she were still around there would always be the question of whether you were becoming a Christian for you or for her. Since she isn't a part of the decision currently, now is the question are you going to devote your life to Christ because you know it is the right thing to do.
Thank you so much for your reply. I have gone through the links you shared, and I am very thankful for your advice. I am working on it and hopefully I will find everything sorted soon.