Question:

Dear Minister,

There is this Christian lady that I admired so much at the university. She was so hospitable, hardworking and nice. I become friends with her and used to visit her in school often. But then, due to some ill health, I left the university for a year. The lady had indulged in sexual sins in my absence but she was bold to tell me and confided in me. I really felt sad on her part.

Later, when I came back to continue my studies, I got close to her. My reason was to keep her company so that she would not fall prey to that sin again. We began to like each other to the extent that we both fornicated. I felt I have done myself bad and wronged her too. Now I have decided not to sleep with her again until we marry, but my thoughts keep haunting me about the sexual immorality. I really want God to help us to live together in future.

Please help me. Thank you.


Answer:

I'm not certain what you are looking for from me. You dated a woman whom you knew was sexually immoral. She tempted you as well, and you committed fornication with her as well. Why do you think this means she is a good woman to have as your wife?

Yes, you have sinned. You are responsible for what you did. "Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body" (I Corinthians 6:18). But like any other sin, you can bog yourself down in sorrow and self loathing, or you can change and become a better man. "For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation, but the sorrow of the world produces death. For behold what earnestness this very thing, this godly sorrow, has produced in you: what vindication of yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what avenging of wrong! In everything you demonstrated yourselves to be innocent in the matter" (II Corinthians 7:10-11).