Question:

I want to tell you about my friend. He is facing some confusion regarding his Christian life. He had commited adultery after baptism having had sexual relations with a lady older than him.

He was baptized at the age of 16, but according to him the real evil thoughts and evil work in his life started after his baptism. He started watching porn pictures, movies, evil imagination and committing fornication. His life was completely evil and there was no grace or blessings in his life. After few years he was facing failure. He felt that it was all because of his adultery and evil deeds.

But one day when he came across the Bible verse that lust makes a person and his life complicated. He realized that he had to come out of it. But he had no control over it. He was completely captured by sexual thoughts and sexual practices. When I last met him he said he is now trying to have control over lust, pornographic imaginations and fornication because of his prayer and dedication toward our Lord Jesus.

He asked me, even though he is exercising self-control now over porn due to leading a spiritual life, he wanted to know whether his previous sins, which he did after baptism will be forgiven or not. He also asked, "In order to have sex after marriage, doesn't each person have to think wild, pornography or adulterous thoughts to complete the act? But such thoughts are against God's will according to the Bible. What is a person to do to remake his mind?


Answer:

Many people think that becoming a Christian means they are protected from sinning. As a result, they don't guard themselves from evil. "Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall" (I Corinthians 11:12).

I don't know of a verse that specifically says that lust makes a person's life complicated, but it is true that evil brings about trouble for the one acting wickedly. "He who earnestly seeks good finds favor, but trouble will come to him who seeks evil" (Proverbs 11:27).

I'm glad that he is working to control his impulses. It was never true that he had no control over his behavior. The problem is that he had to work at controlling himself and it took a while to master himself. "No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it" (I Corinthians 10:13). It probably took more effort than he was expecting.

It is a false notion that pornography or thoughts of sinning sexually is needed for a husband to have sex with his wife. It might be his habit from the past, but it certainly is never required. Sex within marriage is righteous (Hebrews 13:4). You don't produce right with sin. "And why not say, "Let us do evil that good may come"? -- as we are slanderously reported and as some affirm that we say. Their condemnation is just" (Romans 3:8).

Instead of letting his lust lead his choices in life, he needs to use his reason and always do things the way God declares is right. Perhaps at first it may be a struggle to refuse to return to old habits, but he won't have trouble enjoying sex with his wife. The needs of his body will overcome his ingrained habits if he stays away from the sinful behavior and thoughts.

All sins, when they are repented of, can be forgiven by God. God wants people to leave sin. He isn't going to prevent that from happening.

"The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance" (II Peter 3:9).

"Therefore I will judge you, O house of Israel, every one according to his ways," says the Lord GOD. "Repent, and turn from all your transgressions, so that iniquity will not be your ruin. Cast away from you all the transgressions which you have committed, and get yourselves a new heart and a new spirit. For why should you die, O house of Israel? For I have no pleasure in the death of one who dies," says the Lord GOD. "Therefore turn and live!" (Ezekiel 18:30-32).

"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (I John 1:9).