Question:

My wife cheated on me in the first month of our relationship while we were dating. She confessed to me immediately. I know she was really sorry, though I myself was sleeping around at the time too. I have strong images of her confessions in my mind even after four years from the incident. I have not been faithful to her in our marriage of over the last three years. Just recently I had an affair with a married woman I used to date while we were both single. I regreted it and begged God for His forgiveness. I also confessed to my wife who forgave me almost immediately. I had confessed to being unfaithful numerous times.

My pain is that even after all this, I still think about what she did a long time ago even before we got married and I use it against her as much as I can.

Please I need your help to save my marriage.


Answer:

"Therefore you are inexcusable, O man, whoever you are who judge, for in whatever you judge another you condemn yourself; for you who judge practice the same things. But we know that the judgment of God is according to truth against those who practice such things. And do you think this, O man, you who judge those practicing such things, and doing the same, that you will escape the judgment of God?" (Romans 2:1-3).

"For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses" (Matthew 6:14-15).

Forgiveness is not just some words to be uttered. Forgiveness is releasing a person from any obligation or debt to you. You claim you forgave your wife, but you've been lying since you continue to hold her past sin against her. This excusing of your sins because you see your wife as a sinner is foolish.

If you want to save your marriage, it starts with you changing.