Question:

Good day sir,

I found this address online and I wish to seek your advice toward my growing life. I use to have a fiancee. We both planned to spend the rest of our life together but I kept feeling it was not working. Why? This is simply because it is my prayer to never to have an unhappy home. My fiancee used to be a good woman -- loved and accepted by the majority of people around me. She's caring and has the major qualities of a good woman. But she is always on my neck. She seems to complain about the same issue all the time. She never trusts me with someone of the opposite sex, even my cousins. I don't give her any reason to think this way. I always beg her to please trust me for I am not as she always thinks I am, but there has been no change. She even says about our future together that if I hurt her anytime that she will never forgive me, that she won't divorce me, but she will never do her duty as a wife anymore.

I love her and I want to marry her, but I am scared now. I don't know what she might become later. Please, I need your advice.


Answer:

You marry a woman for who she is, not for who she might become. Right now, there are characteristics missing to say that she loves you. "Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails" (I Corinthians 13:4-8). She does not trust you. Is there a potential that anyone may sin? Clearly the risk of sin exists for both men and women. "Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall" (I Corinthians 10:12). However, to accuse a person of considering sinning when it has not happened is troubling.

It is also worrisome that she has already planned revenge for a non-existent sin. "Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, "Vengeance is Mine, I will repay," says the Lord" (Romans 12:17-19). Troubling also is that she has told you in advance that she has no room in her heart for forgiveness. "For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses" (Matthew 6:14-15).

Unless she changes, you must accept her at her word, and her words state that she does not have a loving heart toward you.