Question:

Hi,

God blessed.

I have been with my wife for nearly twenty years and we have five kids. Four years ago, I met a girl who I fell in love with, and we secretly married. A year ago I went through baptism in a church.

With my current status, I do not know where I stand. Do I need to divorce one of my wives as I know that God does not agree to me having two wives. However, on the over hand, God does not agree with divorce either and I was married to two women before accepting Christ as my Savior.

I really do not know how to decide if I am required to divorce either one of them as this will hurt them. It has never been my intention to hurt either one, but it will if it is really required.


Answer:

"For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another man" (Romans 7:2-3).

Though you claim you are married to this second woman, the truth is that it is all a lie. There is a reason you did it secretly -- you knew it was wrong. The truth is that you are committing adultery. Though you were baptized, you did so without repenting of your sins, which is a requirement (Acts 2:38). "Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God" (I Corinthians 6:9-10).

While you claim that it was not your intention to hurt your wife, the fact is that you kept your sin hidden because you know that it will hurt her if she found out. She would be within her rights to divorce you because of your fornication. "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery" (Matthew 19:9).

The marriage to the second woman has to end because it is not a true marriage that God has bound (Matthew 19:4-6). You need to confess your sins to God (I John 1:9) and change both your attitude and behavior in regards to your adultery (II Corinthians 7:10-11).

If this is hard to understand, then just reverse the situation. How would you feel if you found out that your wife had secretly married another man?