Question:

I am a 19-year-old college student, have never dated in my life, and am never planning to. I plan to go into the mission field once I graduate, and I have decided that it would probably be best to never marry in order to be able to focus on my ministry. However, I have the typical male sex drive. Honestly, I would like to just get rid of it as I have no want nor need for it, but I know that is not an option. What would you suggest I do?


Answer:

I assume you are dealing adequately with it so far and you need to realize that you will need to continue dealing with it through the rest of your life. After you get out of your thirties your drive will gradually and slowly decrease, but it will not totally go away.

Understanding that you are male, you simply don't trust yourself when it comes to sexual situations. This, by the way, would be true for married or unmarried men. For example, I have a rule for myself that I don't visit a woman by myself. It is not that I think something might happen, it is because I don't want a chance of something wrong happening. If I need to see someone of the opposite sex, I ask my wife or one of the ladies in the congregation to come with me.

While I understand your motivation to remain single, I would not arbitrarily rule it out. You never know if you might just meet a woman who loves the challenge of going to remote places to preach the gospel. "But even if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Nevertheless such will have trouble in the flesh, but I would spare you" (I Corinthians 7:28). Having a wife who can focus on the needs of life while you focus on teaching is not a bad combination. "Do we have no right to take along a believing wife, as do also the other apostles, the brothers of the Lord, and Cephas?" (I Corinthians 9:5). Still, it is fine to choose not to chase after it because you have other things to do.

Thank you so much for your help!