I left an abusive marriage. Can I date and remarry?


I divorced a man who hit my son and hit me. His pastor says that I am not allowed to ever remarry and if I date and remarry I will burn in the Lake of fire and hear his words for all eternity in my mind in Hell.

My ex-husband did not have sex with another woman, I divorced him because he broke my nose and hit my son and was constantly having temper tantrums scaring the children. He also said "I'm going to kill you" while breaking the door down trying to get to me. He bullied my mother for money, frequently scaring her. He claims to be a Christian. He also did not have sexual relations with me when we were married more than twice a year and even then there was no kindness. He treated me like a housekeeper but not like a wife. He refused to buy me even the basic necessities while spending thousands on himself. He told me that my disability was because my faith was not good enough to accept God's healing and that is why I am still feeling pain. He was harsh and short with me all the time. I slept on the floor in the living room for 10 years because he had the bedroom.

After I filed for divorce he lied to our mutual acquaintances and lied to the police and lied to the court to get my inherited house away from me which he stayed in for months without paying the mortgage. He tells the children I am evil for divorcing him. He claims that we are not really legally divorced in the eyes of God because I am never allowed to divorce him. I am afraid of this man. I am sad that I have to share custody with this man. He was finally evicted from my home and the divorce is final and has been for a few years.

I met a very nice man and I would like to date him. He is a good man and has been talking about marriage. I would like to know if I can date and remarry. I do not feel it is fair to have to live alone forever because of the violent temper of an abusive ex-husband who thinks he owns me and wants my parent's money. Am I allowed to date and remarry?


Because your divorce was not due to the sexual sins of your husband, your situation falls under this rule: "But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife" (I Corinthians 7:10-11). I understand why you felt you needed to distance yourself from your ex-husband, but it does not give you the right to marry another man. You are still bound by your covenant until your former husband dies (Romans 7:2-3).