I was deeply in love with a girl. She is a Hindu and I'm a Christian. We were deeply in love and lost control in our love. We had intercourse and oral sex. We learned that our parent are not willing to let us marry and live a happy life. In anger I sexually harassed her many times and had forced sex also. I'm scared still. Without her I can't live, but I know I won't get her or live with her because it's a very difficult situation. Our parents are not even listening to what we are saying.
This is a confession to the heavenly God. Now she is telling me that if we cannot marry, I should find another girl and live happily. I know my mistakes, but I want to know what I should do to get back my peace.
"There will be tribulation and distress for every soul of man who does evil, of the Jew first and also of the Greek, but glory and honor and peace to everyone who does good, to the Jew first and also to the Greek" (Romans 2:10-11).
Though you claim to follow Christ, you haven't been listening to God. "Why do you call Me, 'Lord, Lord,' and do not do what I say?" (Luke 6:46).
- You have had sex with a girl you are not married to (fornication). "Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God" (I Corinthians 6:9-10).
- You sexually harassed the girl you claimed to love. "But fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you, as is fitting for saints; neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks. For this you know, that no fornicator, unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. Therefore do not be partakers with them" (Ephesians 5:3-7).
- You've raped the girl you claimed to love.
"Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails" (I Corinthians 13:4-8).
If you had a daughter, would you want her to marry a man who treated her as badly as you've treated your girlfriend? Christians should be living a life that others would want to imitate. You've been living a sinful life that has repulsed people who aren't even Christians.
You see yourself as in love, but by your behavior you show that this is all about you and about sex.
"The way of peace they have not known, And there is no justice in their ways; They have made themselves crooked paths; Whoever takes that way shall not know peace. Therefore justice is far from us, Nor does righteousness overtake us; We look for light, but there is darkness! For brightness, but we walk in blackness! We grope for the wall like the blind, And we grope as if we had no eyes; We stumble at noonday as at twilight; We are as dead men in desolate places. We all growl like bears, And moan sadly like doves; We look for justice, but there is none; For salvation, but it is far from us. For our transgressions are multiplied before You, And our sins testify against us; For our transgressions are with us, And as for our iniquities, we know them: In transgressing and lying against the LORD, And departing from our God, Speaking oppression and revolt, Conceiving and uttering from the heart words of falsehood. Justice is turned back, And righteousness stands afar off; For truth is fallen in the street, And equity cannot enter. So truth fails, And he who departs from evil makes himself a prey. Then the LORD saw it, and it displeased Him That there was no justice" (Isaiah 59:8-15).
When you are on the wrong path, the solution is to change the direction you are going and get on the right path. The first thing you need to do is fix yourself. You need to get right with God. "For "He who would love life And see good days, Let him refrain his tongue from evil, And his lips from speaking deceit. Let him turn away from evil and do good; Let him seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the LORD are on the righteous, And His ears are open to their prayers; But the face of the LORD is against those who do evil"" (I Peter 3:10-12). Until you straighten out your own life, you are better off not dating, especially the person who has been the focus of so many of your sins.