How do I help my mother who is being abused by my father?


Hello sir,

I am 23 and recently finished my schooling.

My dad denies Christ, but my mom is a believer. My dad is short tempered. From the beginning, my mom was treated by him as a servant. He used to beat her, use abusive words over her -- sometimes in front of other people, too. My mom brought up both myself and my sister with great care and helped us walk with Christ. She has been staying with my dad thinking that one day he might change through her prayers. But as days went by, he took advantage of the fact that my mom doesn't say anything, so his abusiveness increases day by day. For the past two years, he has beat her up like anything, throwing away the foods she prepared, making her clean it, saying she has been the cause of his downfall, asking her to leave the place or die. My mom, being aged, can't tolerate these. I want to bring her away from him as I fear something may happen to her. Recently he beat her up with a stick leaving bruises all over her body. Dad would act like he cares whenever I go home. Can I bring her away from him? Is that wrong before God? I am confused what to do with him because it seems he will never change. I am also afraid that separating her from him might increase his rage.

Please help me try to solve this.


As hard as it might seem to understand, your mom has chosen to stay with your dad through all these years. Too often, it is hard for a victim of abuse to leave. Thus, even if you give her a way out of the abusive situation, she might not accept the offer.

I would assume that you plan to live in a different town from your parents. That would make it easier for your mother, if she decides to leave, because she would not likely run into your father as often. You can offer her a place in your own home, but do not be surprised if she turns your offer down. But even then, leave the offer open. Perhaps later she will accept your offer.

There is not much you can do about your dad. You could report him to the authorities for his abusive behavior, but unless your mother cooperates, they won't be able to press a case against your father. Basically anything you do to stand up for your mother will cause your father to turn against you. That might not be such a bad thing, so long as he doesn't get violent with you.

Thank you, sir, for your kind advice. I think my mom will accept my offer as she is already fed up. I feel happy that I can share my life with someone like you. I have a lot of spiritual questions for you so that my knowledge of Christ will be increasing. Thank you once again.