Question:

I have known about God all my life. I used to go to church with my parents. It has been long time since I have been to church. I forgot about Him for a while; I lost faith and stopped praying.

I got married two years ago.

A couple of weeks ago I started praying asking God to help me be a better person and to enter my heart and thoughts. I have been thinking about Him very often and pray often for forgiveness. I would like to change my life because I can feel Him giving me a chance to get closer. I really want to start going to church again and I want to get baptized. Time is running out. I can feel all the evil that is happening in the world, and I don't want to lose my soul.

The thing that is bugging me so much -- all I think about now -- is a year ago when my relationship was rocky, I cheated on my husband with two people. I had put it in the back of my mind for a while forgetting what I did, but lately I just regret it so much. I think, "What was I thinking?" And I'm upset with myself for it. I wish I could go back and never do it; it was not worth anything.

I haven't felt tempted to do it again because I know how wrong it is. I have been praying much more lately specially for that specific issue asking God to forgiving me for that horrible disgusting sin I am ashamed of. I want to get baptized, but I am not sure if I have to let my husband know about it. I really don't want to tell him because I know he will not forgive me. It will cause him pain. I wouldn't want to place him in and he doesn't really believe in God, but I do and I do truly repent.

I just don't know what to do. I want to be a better woman and wife and mother and be with God. I dont want to go to hell for that sin.


Answer:

If your husband asks about that time, you'll have to tell him the truth. But what I would suggest doing is becoming the loving and faithful wife that he should have. Most likely he will never ask about the past because he is enjoying the present.

In regards to your sins: yes, you need to become a real Christian. Being a Christian is not about feelings. It is a firm commitment to serve God because He loves you and has given you salvation. See: What Must I Do to be Saved? If you would let me know what city you live near, I'll try to locate a church in your area that you can contact.