My boyfriend wants to move in before we get married.


Dear friend,

I am super confused now, and it seems like I am in a dilemma. I do not know what I am supposed to do. Please help me.

My boyfriend wants to live with me. We are going to rent a two-bedroom apartment. We are seriously in love and plan to marry later this year. I know we Christian cannot have sex before marriage. I definitely do not want to do anything which break the relationship between God and me. But at the same time, I do not want to hurt my boyfriend. Now I am wondering if it is okay to live with my boyfriend and promise that we will never have sex before marriage.

Please help me and tell me what I am supposed to do. Thank you.


Your choices are:

  • Find separate living arrangements until you get married, or
  • Get married and then move in together.

One option is to have a small civil wedding now and then have the formal wedding later. What isn't an option is for two unmarried Christians to move in together. The temptation to get involved in lust, lewdness, and sex would be too great. "Let us walk properly, as in the day, not in revelry and drunkenness, not in lewdness and lust, not in strife and envy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts" (Romans 13:13-14).

Dear Jeffrey,

Thank you so much for your reply. I think that is what God tried to tell me.

Have a good day.