Question:

Hi,

I just left a cohabiting relationship after four years. The only good thing that came out of it was my daughter. But there is this guy who wants to marry me, but he wants to move in with me first. What should I do? I don't want to repeat the same mistake twice.


Answer:

The best way to avoid mistakes is to listen to God. "And now, Israel, what does the LORD your God require of you, but to fear the LORD your God, to walk in all His ways and to love Him, to serve the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul, and to keep the commandments of the LORD and His statutes which I command you today for your good?" (Deuteronomy 10:12-13). God's commands are always for the good of the people He teaches.

God says that sex is only for the married. "Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge" (Hebrews 13:4). Thus, the answer becomes simple: If you love me and love God, then you will marry me first before moving in; that is the only way a man is coming into this home. This becomes a test to see what kind of man you are dealing with because actions speak more clearly than words.

Hi,

That guy I told you about broke up with me after I took a firm stand and refused to have sex with him.

So what does that tell you about him? Recall that Jesus said, "Therefore by their fruits you will know them" (Matthew 7:20). What a person does has more meaning than what a person says.