Question:

I am 19 years old and recently married my high school sweetheart. Now seven months later she wants a divorce, and it's not for adultery. Should I refuse to sign for the divorce? And if she continues with the divorce, without my agreement, and later remarries someone else where does this leave me?

Are we both still married to each other in God's eyes until one of us commits adultery?

Please pray for us!


Answer:

"Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife" (I Corinthians 7:10-11).

Marriage is a lifetime commitment, which is why it is so important to choose wisely who you marry and why it is important to put every effort into making your marriage work. Unfortunately, you can't stop her from leaving you. You can only disagree with the divorce by refusing to sign any agreement.

If the divorce happens, either one of you marrying or having sex with another person will be in adultery. That is because it is only God who decides when a marriage covenant ends. "Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate" (Matthew 19:6). Jesus gave only one exception. "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery" (Matthew 19:9). One of the reasons for the divorce has to be because the other person is committing sexual sins. Jesus isn't talking about later, after the divorce was finished.

So, why does she want to leave you after so little time? Are there things you can do to improve your marriage? Is she willing to work on the marriage too? And you can always ask, "Are you leaving because there is someone else you rather be married to?" These type of conversations will hurt, but they are important to have.