Question:

I have a ring on my finger and me and my boyfriend plan to marry within the next 5 years. We have not had sex and do not plan to until marriage, but we have done things with our hands. We are not sure on whether it was a sin it not? We plan to marry so would that make using hands but not having sex okay?


Answer:

Future plans do not change do not change you current situation. While you have not had intercourse, it is not the only sin to be avoided you are behaving in a lewd manner and both of you were lusting for sex.

Lewdness translates the Greek word aselgeia. It refers to shameless behavior, particularly in regards to sex. It is behavior that is involved in pure self-enjoyment or behavior characteristic of an animal. Lust is a strong desire for something that is unlawful. "Let us walk properly, as in the day, not in revelry and drunkenness, not in lewdness and lust, not in strife and envy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts" (Romans 13:13-14).

The Greek word haptomai means to touch, particularly in the sense of holding on. Thus, it doesn't refer to an accidental brushing against someone, but a purposeful touch or grab. In the context of "Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman" (I Corinthians 7:1), it is talking about the sexual touching between a man and woman, such as what goes on in foreplay, but it would also include the touching of genitals that takes place in mutual masturbation or hand jobs. "So is he who goes in to his neighbor's wife; whoever touches her shall not be innocent" (Proverbs 6:29).

People don't appreciate the fact that sin is progressive. One seemingly small sin leads to additional sins. Eventually those sins carry them beyond the boundaries they arbitrarily set for themselves, but the problem did not start at the boundary but at the start of the journey into sin.