Question:

I read your answer to a lady on God forgiving fornication. My story is similar to hers, but I lost my virginity. My parents are not the strong Christian type, but I had high standards for myself. I never had a boyfriend until I was 21 years old. My seeking attention and someone to speak to drew me to my first boyfriend. Even when I knew God was against my relationship I went ahead. A few months into the relationship we started having sex. We broke up after a year, but I have never been the same. I despise men and will never agree to any relationship that won't lead to marriage. I knew God is against pre-marital sex, but I consoled myself with the fact that others are doing it.

I am so ashamed to tell anyone that I am no longer a virgin because I am against pre-marital sex. I have asked God for forgiveness several times, but I feel unworthy and unforgiven. I want to fulfil destiny and do things for God. But has God forgiven me? Or has He forgiven me, but I haven't forgiven myself?


Answer:

People treat some sins as worse than others, but God sees sins as all being equally bad. God looks at who you are, not who you were. ""But if a wicked man turns from all his sins which he has committed, keeps all My statutes, and does what is lawful and right, he shall surely live; he shall not die. None of the transgressions which he has committed shall be remembered against him; because of the righteousness which he has done, he shall live. Do I have any pleasure at all that the wicked should die?" says the Lord GOD, "and not that he should turn from his ways and live?"" (Ezekiel 18:21-23).

What does feelings have to do with forgiveness? If you are a Christian, God said, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (I John 1:9). God is faithful; He always keeps His word. He stated that if we admit we are wrong and change our ways (II Corinthians 7:10-11), then He forgives us of all our sins. Notice it is not some sins but all sins.

That you sinned, but have since changed your mind means you have matured. Your past sins does not lessen your present understanding. You know pre-marital sex is wrong, and you had to learn the reason why the hard way, but you did learn.

Now you understand the strength of sin, you won't treat it so lightly or ignore the warnings. But notice how you have swung to another extreme. You met a man who did not respect you, used you, and left you. To broaden that to all men is not reasonable. To say that you won't have sex again until you are married is reasonable. Sex doesn't make a relationship, it undermines it.

Thank you sir for attending to me and your advice. God bless you more.