Question:

I and my fiancé had sex even when we agreed not to, though all necessary plans to get marry is on the ground. But I feel so guilty and alone. Forgiveness is what I need from God to face life again. Actually we had decided not to have sex again, but I have no belief in the decision because we made one before the sex. What are the possible things to do that can both keep us away from it for the short period before the wedding?


Answer:

Like many others, it sounds to me that you two were focused on not committing fornication but ignored the things that lead up to intercourse. As a result you stir up passion for sex thinking you'll stop before it gets too far and then are surprised to find out that you barely thought about stopping until after it was done. I'll give you the same advise I've given others in the past. See: Can you give some guidelines for how to behave in courtship? It basically comes down to the fact that sex can happen, so you have to not start down the road that leads to the wrong destination. It also requires that both of you are committed to not sin again. You can have good intentions, but if he is undermining your decisions, you'll eventually give in again.

In regards to forgiveness, God understand that people are weak and sin. It doesn't excuse the sins, but He doesn't hold sins against a person who wishes to change both his actions and his attitude toward sin.

  • "If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us. My little children, these things I write to you, so that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous" (I John 1:8-2:1).
  • "For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death. For observe this very thing, that you sorrowed in a godly manner: What diligence it produced in you, what clearing of yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what vehement desire, what zeal, what vindication! In all things you proved yourselves to be clear in this matter" (II Corinthians 7:10-11).