Question:

Hi,

I have a question regarding as to where my faith should be placed, but before that I’d like to start from the beginning.

A while back I met a girl and, out of pure randomness, I began talking to her. We got along very well and very quickly and ended up liking each other. However, after a month of getting to know her and growing close to her I decided to ask her out on a date. To the surprise of all our friends, she said, “no.” She said that the current circumstances would not permit her to be with me. Furthermore, she advised me not to wait for her as she could not trust her ability to continue liking me for the time leading up to the end of exams.

I got home and prayed and God spoke to me, he said, “Sam, just trust me, have faith.” From that day onward I've been glorifying and thanking God for even the smallest blessings. As a result I've grown more as a Christian in the last few months than over my entire life.

Everything between the girl and I was lost on that single day. Since then we have not talked or seen each other and have agreed not to be friends. Despite the bittersweet nature of this journey one question still bothers me, where do I place my faith? Do I place my faith in something specific, such as God’s ability to bring us together again, despite the seemingly impossible nature of it, fearing that what I choose to believe in is just me placing my desires and ambitions in front of God’s will? Or do I place my faith in something more general such as happiness fearing the fact that I lack the faith to believe in the power of God?

This question has been bothering for a long time, I've been asking friends and church leaders as to what they think, so I would also like to know what you guys think.

Please note, that although I do desire a relationship with her, I have wanted to dedicate it to God from the beginning and have been praying that through a relationship God’s kingdom and glory can be extended.


Answer:

Before I can answer your question, we need to discuss something that I suspect you will not like hearing. The idea that God directly speaks to people is popular, but it has no foundation in God's Word. It is true that at various times in the past God chose to speak to some people who were called prophets. "God, who at various times and in various ways spoke in time past to the fathers by the prophets, has in these last days spoken to us by His Son, whom He has appointed heir of all things, through whom also He made the worlds" (Hebrews 1:1-2). People read the Bible and forget that it covers about 4,000 years of history. It focuses on just a few people who lived. It doesn't even come close to discussing all the people who ever lived. Thus, what we find in the Bible is a very condensed history of the world. When you see that, you realize just how rarely God spoke directly to people and how few prophets there were in the world.

And even though God used prophets in the past, in this present age God chose a different method to reveal His will. "For since, in the wisdom of God, the world through wisdom did not know God, it pleased God through the foolishness of the message preached to save those who believe. For Jews request a sign, and Greeks seek after wisdom; but we preach Christ crucified, to the Jews a stumbling block and to the Greeks foolishness, but to those who are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God" (I Corinthians 1:21-24). This message, God said was delivered just once. "Beloved, while I was very diligent to write to you concerning our common salvation, I found it necessary to write to you exhorting you to contend earnestly for the faith which was once for all delivered to the saints" (Jude 3). Prophecy, which was used to deliver that message would come to an end when the perfect message was delivered. "Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. or we know in part and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away" (I Corinthians 13:8-10).

Faith is trusting God and what He said. Faith doesn't come blindly; it comes from a knowledge of the Bible. "So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God" (Romans 10:17). I trust what God said in His book. I don't have faith in modern-day claims that run counter to what God said He chose to do.

God made men with free-will. They can chose to follow God or not. In regards to their lives they can chose what they want to do. Of course, some of those possible choices are bad, some are good, some are not wise, some are foolish, and some really don't make much difference. See: Predetermined Destiny. You have freedom to choose who you want to marry. Whether you make a good choice depends on whether you heed God's teachings on how to select a good woman. The idea that God has one person chosen for you to marry is just not taught in God's Word.

If you are with me so far, then also understand that women have the same free-will. Dating, engagement, and marriage only come if both the man and woman chose each other. This girl, for whatever reason, isn't interested in you. She might change her mind later, but until that happens, you have your own life to live. If she shows interest later and you happen to be available, then you can restart this relationship. If you have already found someone else, the she is just out of luck.

The way God is given glory is when people listen to God's teaching and follow them. "If anyone speaks, let him speak as the oracles of God. If anyone ministers, let him do it as with the ability which God supplies, that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belong the glory and the dominion forever and ever. Amen" (I Peter 4:11). God is glorified when people realize that what God said works. All you have is your personal desire that you ascribed to God. That doesn't glorify God.