I know we had this talk before, but unfortunately I fell again. The trigger this time was a perverted thought about dresses and skirts. I acted on it and I.. well, I fell.
I'm going to try again of course, but there was something else I have to get off my chest. I noticed a commonality between 97% of porn stars. They have neutral, if not soulless. expressions. They seem almost lifeless. I know I've expressed my concern for prostitutes and sex workers alike, but the looks on their faces just screams of "help me". I know they're demon possessed, but it disturbs me how Satan has deceived these women and men who buy into the lust lie and the people who click on it.
This isn't necessarily a question, but I must pose this statement: fighting this list thing is bigger than what I thought. It's not just lust, it's the demons that perpetuate it. I know Jesus said the battle is big, but this is war! I just feel like I have a revolver and my enemies have rocket launchers and nuclear warheads. What am I to do?
"Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints" (Ephesians 6:10-18).
It isn't just about no longer looking at porn. It is about changing your attitude toward it so that it is no longer seen as desirable. It is also about filling your life with good so that there no longer is room sin in your life.
What you are seeing are people who no longer care. "Now the Spirit expressly says that in latter times some will depart from the faith, giving heed to deceiving spirits and doctrines of demons, speaking lies in hypocrisy, having their own conscience seared with a hot iron ... " (I Timothy 4:1-2). It isn't just those in these pictures who are spiritually dead, when you have your pants and underwear down around your ankles, staring at these images, you are numbing your spirit as well.
Realizing the stakes, battle that much harder -- not by yourself, but take up the weapon and the defenses God has given you.